NFL Week 17 Picks

2-2 vs the spread last week, 52-44-2 for the year. . .

New Orleans +7 at Atlanta: The Falcons would be nuts to play Julio Jones in this game.  They can kick the Saints ass and lock up the NFC #2 seed and a first round playoff bye without him.  I don't think they can beat Seattle and Dallas with Jones limping off the field every other play.  Two weeks rest for Jones is worth 6 points going into the likely divisional round playoff game with the Seahawks.  Atlanta. 

Oakland +1.5 at Denver: How did tough guy Raider HC Jack Del Rio react to starting QB Derek Carr's season-ending injury? In his postgame news conference, Del Rio's eyes were red and wet. No tears fell, but close.  Hey, coach, way to keep the team upbeat, and way to instill confidence in the back-up QB, some guy named Matt McGroin or something.  Hey, coach, you got a nice practice game here to get McGroin ready to lead your team to the Super Bowl.  Gee, don't sit there and cry and act like it's all over.  Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl.  Jake Delhomme almost beat Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the Patriots in a Super Bowl.  Tough guys don't cry.  Tough guys like the challenge of winning when everybody thinks they don't got a chance.  Quit pissing yourself, pull up your pants and get to work.  Even with McGroin, with the players you got left, you should still at least get to the AFC title game in New England.  Then you can piss yourself.  Oakland.

Green Bay -3.5 at Detroit: Ha ha ha ha!  The Lions are a home underdog!  Everybody expects them to complete their choke and blow the North Pole division and a playoff spot.  But Lavender Bay ain't that fucking good. . .their defense is spotty, and even though Aaron Rodgers has been playing very well the last half of the season, he's still a fucking faggot, a pussy faggot scared to come out of the closet.  Nigger Jim Caldwell's job should be on the line in this game.  It was no disgrace to lose at the Giants and Cowboys, but don't lose a title game at home in the last week. The Lions defense was clueless against the Cowboys, Scott Linehan dissected them perfectly. . .but Lions nigger DC Teryl Austin knows the Packers inside and out, and there won't be any surprises Sunday night.  But even more is on the line than Nigger Jim Caldwell's job status, this game is a Matthew Stafford litmus test.  How many more chances is he gonna get to prove he's anything more than an average QB?  Hey, Matty, time to win something, for crying out loud!  Take off those sissy-looking gloves and win a big game, for once!  Otherwise, go join that worthless nigger Calvin Johnson on some faggot TV game show.  Detroit. 

OH, YEAH. . .I hope the Redskins win their game Sunday, so the Lions-Packers game is a true win-or-else game.  If the Redskins lose, the Lions-Packers loser still backs into the playoffs as a Wild Card.  For Detroit and Matthew Stafford especially, they need to prove they can win a big game, straight-up. . .without any Wild Card pill to take the edge off their anxiety level. . .

NFL Week 16 Picks (Sloppy, Hurried Holiday Edition)

5-1 vs the spread last week, 50-42-2 for the year. . .

Minnesota +7 at Green Bay: The Vikings got rolled by one of the softest teams in the League, the Colts, last week. . .I can't imagine that sat too well with Mike Zimmer.  I expect a much better effort from Minnesota this week.  The Lavender Bay Fudge Packers are on a little hot streak, with their faggot QB Aaron Rodgers playing like an All-Pro again, and now Media has them pegged as a *dangerous* team. . .sorry, but their defense isn't good enough for them to be *dangerous.*  Minnesota.

Atlanta -2.5 at Carolina: After playing the Rams and 49ers, the Panthers are gonna seem like the '85 Bears to the Falcons.  It might take the Falcons until late into the second half to get over the shock of having to play a real professional football team.  Atlanta wins late.  Atlanta.

Baltimore +5 at Pittsburgh: This one is for the AFC North Division title.  Steelers have the better offense, the Ravens have the better defense and coach.  Baltimore.

Detroit +7 at Dallas: Lions will keep this one close all the way and beat the spread, and may lead late in the game, but no way the League lets Detroit win this over its #1 Glamour team and block its #2 Glamour team Lavender Bay from winning the NFC North.  The zebras will give the Cowboys some home cookin' late in the 4th quarter to allow Dallas to win.  Detroit.

NFL Week 15 Picks

4-2 vs the spread last week, 45-41-2 for the year. . .

Los Angeles +14 at Seattle: Somebody Goofed Big-Time in the Rams organization!  And the selection of Jared gOOf doomed Jeff Fisher.  Fisher apparently knew from the get-go gOOf sucked, as he sat him for Case Keenum, who himself is a goofball QB.  But the idiot fans and Media kept clamoring for gOOf, and the front office probably kept pressuring Fisher, also.  Fisher finally broke, and sat Keenum, whose borderline mediocrity could have gotten the Rams to 7-9 or 8-8 and kept Fisher employed.  Fisher must have crossed his fingers when he threw gOOf out there, for he had to know what the results would be: loss after loss after loss, with the last couple being embarrassing ass-kickings.  Last week #44 for Atlanta *sacked* gOOf with a pinky promise:

Never seen a QB go down so EZ, and I have to believe his teammates took note, as their level of effort seriously declined as they realized what a sissy QB they have for a *leader.*  Todd Gurley was upset about this on the sideline, but he'll learn. . .in college you can get away with a fag QB, there's a lot of rah-rah school spirit and shit to keep dumb kids motivated, but at the next level, when you're one play away from having mashed potatoes for brains, players ain't gonna *leave it all on the field* for a faggot QB who'll just end up costing them the game, anyway.  The next coach for the Rams better get a guarantee from management that he can move on from gOOf, and not have some impossible mandate to *fix* him, because gOOf looks to be the biggest coach-killer to hit the National Football League since Joey Harrington.  As for the Seahawks, they continue to play like an NFL bottom-feeder on the road, as they got crushed in Green Bay. . .but now they're back at home, and won't even need their usual helping of home-cookin' from the zebras to beat the Rams.  Seattle.   

Green Bay -6.5 at Chicago: What's gotten into Aaron Rodgers (butt)?  He's back to his Glory (Hole) Days the last three weeks.  Still, I'm not sold on the Fudge Packers winning out and saving their season.  Rodgers may be doing a little too much fudge packing himself, as he seems to have over-exerted his thighs and calves, he looks like he's about one scramble away from having to hit the bench.  Record-wise, the Bears are in the same league as the Rams, Jets and 49ers, but as with Jacksonville, they actually have a solid defense, and if they could just get a difference maker at QB, they could flip their 1-5 record in games decided by 7 points or less.  This will be a low-scoring cold weather game, and with the Bears getting a generous 6.5 points, it's an EZ pick:  Chicago.  

Detroit +4.5 at New York Giants: Poor Lions fans. . .just when it looked like Dee-troit had the North Pole division and a home playoff game locked up, Matthew Stafford gets his middle finger broken, and now the entire Mitten State is in a state of depression, envisioning Stafford throwing the ball like Derek *busted pinky* Carr did against the Chiefs, and the Lions losing their last 3 games and missing the playoffs.  The Giants are almost a mirror-image of the Lions.  Both teams are 9-4, with 8 wins by 7 points or less.  Neither team can run the ball, and both have underwhelming statistical defenses that somehow manage to hold most teams under 20 points.  The difference in this game?  No broken finger for Eli Manning.  New York.  

Indianapolis +4 at Minnesota: This is an Elimination Bowl, as the loser can kiss their playoff hopes goodbye.  Andrew Luck is the League's most over-rated QB, but he's still 10x better than the Vikings faggot Samantha Bradford.  But that's the Colts only edge.  Everything else favors the home team.  Minnesota.

San Francisco +13.5 at Atlanta: The 49ers somehow blew a 17-3 home lead against a Jets team that had already quit on the season, and now they gotta go to Atlanta to play a team battling for a Division title.  December football was supposed to be tough, but apparently the National Football League had an SEC guy do the Falcons schedule.  Last week they got to tee off on Jared gOOf, this week they get the clown quarterback Colin Halfernigger!  More highlight reel sacks for Atlanta's #44.  Atlanta.    

Tampa Bay +7 at Dallas: One loss and already there's a QB controversy on the Dallas horizon.  I think that's got to mess with the rookie nigger QB's head. . .one poor game and already Romo whispers are being heard. . .if Tampa can keep the Dallas rookie nigger running back from breaking the big runs, and keep the heat on the rookie nigger QB, I think the QB breaks.  UPSET SPECIAL.  Tampa Bay.  

NFL Week 14 Picks

2-4 vs the spread last week, 41-39-2 for the year. . .

Oakland +3.5 at Kansas City: Man, this was THE game when I was a kid. . .the Raiders with *The Mad Bomber,* Daryle Lamonica, vs the Chiefs with the thinking man's QB, Len Dawson.  Both teams had white running backs!   Marv Hubbard and Ed Podolak!  The Raiders were the outlaws with John Madden as their coach, while the Chiefs were technicians under the scholarly Hank Stram. . .but the Chiefs weren't sissies, like those faggy Don Shula Miami Dolphins!  No, sir!  They didn't take no shit from Oakland.  Curley Culp and Buck Buchanan would bust you in the chops.  No, those games were wars. . .real football, back when you could clothesline a guy, and rip the QB's head off!  Jack Del Rio is trying as much as he can to get back to tough football, but with these modern rules, it's really just a pale imitation of the good old days. . .but let's face it, this is about as good as the National Safety & Parity League gets, anymore, so we might as well try to enjoy it, while we fondly remember that better bygone era.  The Chiefs lucked out again last week and stole one from Atlanta with a fake punt and a pick six and a pick two, but they'll need more than luck to win this one.  Derek Carr could have easily played for John Madden, but Alex Smith couldn't even have been a water boy for Hank Stram.  Raiders all the way.  Oakland.   

Cincinnati -6 at Cleveland: Back to RGIII for the Browns.  4 is the over/under on how many series until he gets injured again, and Josh McClown has to trot back onto the field.  Ha ha ha.  This looked like the Browns last best chance for a win, until the Bengals suddenly woke up last week and pasted the Eagles, and gave themselves a small chance of still winning their division, since they have games left against the Steelers and Ravens.  I figure Cincy will play this one straight, and surely that old fox Marv Lewis will use the humiliation of losing to Cleveland as a motivating factor, as he did a couple years ago when the Browns threw the midget at him.  Cincinnati.   

Chicago +8 at Detroit: Almost 3 full years in as head coach of the Dee-troit Lions, we have to ask what seemed most assuredly *no* when he was first hired: is Jim Caldwell actually a good football coach?  The overwhelming majority of Lions fans have despised Caldwell, and had only the day he would be fired to look forward to.  But now it seems likely he will take the Lions to the playoffs for the second time in three years, and when one considers the Lions record of 356-481-17 (.427) since their last championship in 1957, his 26-18-0 (.591) record must, incredibly, be considered a *Golden Era* of Dee-troit football, alongside the 46-34-0 '91-'95 Wayne Fontes - Barry Sanders *run* of 3 Wild Card Game & 1 NFC Championship Game appearances.  So is Nigger Jim actually a good coach?  While he remains an undeniable game day disaster, almost always making the wrong strategic decision (including the moronic 4th and inches fourth quarter punt from the Cowboy 40 in the infamous *referees pick up the flag* Detroit-Dallas playoff game), one must concede the Lions have never quit on Nigger Jim, despite awful 1-7 and 1-3 starts the last two seasons, and the Lions always seem schematically prepared for their opponents.  And one must give credit to Nigger Jim for hiring Teryl Austin as his defensive coordinator, as Austin has managed to craft a serviceable defense with well below-average talent.  Credit to Caldwell also for promoting the regrettably-named Jim Bob Cooter to offensive coordinator after Matthew Stafford looked like he was settling comfortably into Jay Cutler mode. . .since that change the Lions are 14-6 and Stafford has played like a Pro Bowl QB.   So is Jim Caldwell actually a good coach?  Have we judged him unfairly because, frankly, he looks like a dumb old-time nigger?  Certainly if he were white, we wouldn't be asking this question, and there'd probably already be a statue of him out in front of Ford Field for giving Lions fans a small of handful of games to watch with more at stake than what high draft pick they'll botch. . .but Caldwell IS an old-time nigger, so, unfair as it is, he must do more to prove his worth. . .probably nothing short of a Super Bowl appearance would be convincing of his ability.  That's just the way it is.  As for this game, the Bears actually have a good defense, so we should have a return to the *Lions Win Late In A Squeaker* headline.  Chicago. 
  

Minnesota -3.5 at Jacksonville: Ol' Popeye Zimmer might tear out his one good eye after watching his Vikings blow this one. . .yup, the Vikes are a sinking ship, and I think even pathetic Jacksonville with the Charly-like Blake Bortles can eke out a win over the faggot Samantha *Dinker* Bradford, who never met a three yard pass that didn't make her wet.  I'll be shocked if either team scores a touchdown on offense.  And if ever a guy deserved a charity win from the football gods, it's the Jaguars hapless Gus Bradley, who has remained heroically cheerful through four god-awful years in the panhandle.  Jacksonville.

Atlanta -6 at Los Angeles: Dan Quinn must be feeling the heat, he didn't *give credit* to the Chiefs after the Falcons' Matt Ryan tossed away the game last week with an *oh fuck!* pick two.  Now suddenly tied for the Division lead with Tampa, Quinn knows no excuse in the book will cut it for a loss to the shitty Rams and their rookie QB Trish Goff.  There'd be no pressure if Quinn were facing New England or Seattle, a loss could be tolerated, but it is EXPECTED that the Falcons win this game, and hence comes the pressure, the fear of having to explain away the colossal failure of being beaten by a terrible team that has already given up on 2016, and now plays out the string with Goff as practice for 2017.  And the pressure of meeting expectations doesn't let up. . .because Quinn's got two even worse teams coming up the next two weeks: the 49ers and Panthers.  Just imagine the magnitude of the failure if the Falcons, sitting at 7-5 and with a gift three game stretch of Rams, 49ers, Panthers, somehow stumble out of the playoffs.  Unacceptable.  A fireable offense.  Somebody who ain't getting fired, apparently, is Jeff Fisher, whose litany of excuses is exhaustively detailed here. Atlanta.

Seattle -3 at Green Bay: Aaron Rodgers has played a little better the last couple weeks--maybe he has a new faggot to share his bed?  Still this isn't vintage Green Bay. . .and it ain't vintage Seattle, either.  These teams aren't the class of the NFC anymore, and while Seattle still looks like a threat, they showed in Tampa a couple weeks ago that outside of Seattle and without *home cookin'* from the zebras, they are very ordinary. . .in fact they're only 2-3-1 on the road, and with the NFC looking like it will run through Dallas, I wouldn't put any money on Seattle to make it to the Super Bowl.  Green Bay. 

NFL Week 13 Picks

3-0-1 vs the spread last week, 39-35-2 for the year. . .

Dallas -3.5 at Minnesota: Make no mistake, that was a devastatingly bad end game INT the faggot Samantha Bradford tossed up against Detroit on Thanksgiving. . .they lost the game, the North Pole Division lead, and the short-term future, because it highlighted the folly of giving a 1st and 4th round draft pick for a failed faggot QB. . .if there's one thing that can break a defense, it's having to play for a homo QB who wets himself in the big moments. . .if the Vikings recover from that catastrophic Bradford INT and find some way to beat the Cowboy juggernaut, I'll shit my pants and send the mess to Bradford to beat-off with.  Dallas. 

Kansas City +3.5 at Atlanta: One of the most interesting match-ups of the season.  You have Atlanta, with undeniably one of the best offenses in the League, going against an 8-3 Chiefs team which, except for rushing the passer, doesn't do much of anything.  KC is 27th in total offense and 28th in total defense, and their QB, Alex Smith, now looks like his pre-Jim Harbaugh mediocre self. . .the Chiefs should be a bad team. . .and yet they win.  What's the Chief's secret?  They are +14 in turnovers, i.e., Kansas City is lucky as Hell, plain and simple.  If this game were played in computer simulation, without any ability to factor in *random football chaos,* Atlanta would win by at least 14.  Atlanta.  

Detroit +5.5 at New Orleans: Tough match-up for Dee-troit, which has got most of its wins against the likes of Samantha Bradford, Case Keenum and Blake Bortles, crappy QBs running low-octane offenses, perfect tomato cans for the Lions to kick around with a bunch of 4th quarter Matthew Stafford field goal drives.  The Lions have scored over 24 points only four times this season, and even though the Saints are a lousy team, they can still pile up the points, they've been held to under 24 only 3 times.  The Lions defense hangs tough most games, but this time they got to go against a real NFL quarterback.  The Lions have trailed in the 4th quarter every game this year, that trend will continue.  All their games have been decided by 7 points or less, that trend won't.  New Orleans.  

Los Angeles +13.5 at New England: The Rams are 4-7, and Jeff Fisher is in danger of falling out of his 7-9, 8-8 job safety zone.  When this has happened in years past, Fisher always managed to poach a big upset, usually against Seattle, to get his team back on track to .500.  The Patriots looked like a sure Super Bowl winner in Tom Brady's first 4 post-suspension games, but in the last three, they've lost to Seattle and had unimpressive wins over the shitty 49ers and Jets.  The Patriots have only an average run defense, so this may finally be the week poor Todd Gurley finds a little room to run.  UPSET SPECIAL.  Los Angeles. 

San Francisco +2.5 at Chicago: While the 49ers are 28th in total offense and 31st in total defense, and thus look on paper like the 1-10 team they are, the Bears are 16th in total offense and 11th in total defense, so how the Hell have they only won 2 games?  They should be a 4 or 5 win team at least, and yet here they are, entering the ring for a sissy fight with the boys from San Francisco.  I've always thought John Fox was one of the better coaches, I mean, he almost beat Tom Brady and the Patriots for a Super Bowl with Jake Delhomme as his QB!  But Fox has really struggled in his two years with the Bears. . .is he the new Jeff Fisher?  With the Browns on a bye, the loser of this game is the National Football League's Week 13 Laughingstock.  Chicago. 

New York Giants +5.5 at Pittsburgh: You can tell the *experts* think the Lions and Giants are *smoke-and-mirrors* teams, they're both getting a generous 5.5 points against *inferior* (record-wise) teams.  The *experts* are probably right.  The Giants coach, Ben McaWho?, is a Coach of the Year front-runner, while nigger coach Mike Tomlin once again is doing his best to keep a Super Bowl talent team out of the playoffs.  If the Steelers play an honest game, they'll crush the Giants.  Pittsburgh.

NFL Week 12 Picks

3-3-1 vs the spread last week, 36-35-1 for the year. . .

Ha! Did Pete Carroll walk into an Assistant Coaches store one day, wander down the Eternally Optimistic Good Sport aisle, spot the Bald w/Moustache+Goatee model Defensive Coordinator, and say, "I'll take two of those?"

Pete Carroll's last two DCs, Dan Quinn and Gus Bradley, are the same fucking guy!  Not only do they look alike, they have the same 12 Step Program *Serenity To Accept The Things They Cannot Change* mentality, even in the face of the most bitter defeats:

As quintessential Good Sports, they both give credit to the opponent their team gives a game away to, then proceed to find the proverbial Silver Lining in the Dark Cloud of Defeat. Bradley especially must have a drawer full of these babies:



The Apostle Paul had this to say about testing a man's work to reveal his philosophical foundation:

Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.

With his 14-44 career record, Bradley's seen more than enough flames to prove he's a True Believer.  And there he was again Sunday, after his team's latest disaster, giving away a game when one of the Jaguar defensive linemen fell for the oldest trick in the book, getting suckered into jumping offside on a 4th-and-1 late in the final quarter. . .Bradley remained ever-positive and upbeat, cheering his pathetic squad's effort even while knowing, deep down, their bungling play has left him just 6 games to coach before his head hits the chopping block.

Yes, after enduring four years of Jacksonville Hell, Gus Bradley's gotta be a Master Disciple of the 12 Step School.  

As for Dan Quinn, we have the winner's paradox: he hasn't lost enough to reveal the authenticity of the gospel he preaches.  

In the eyes of the world, Gus Bradley is a loser.  But he's a High Priest in the Cult of Perpetual Defeat, where no loss is ever final, and where the sad-sack who falls off the wagon achieves victory simply by cheerfully starting all over again.

But a word to the wise, Gus: A prophet is not without honor, except in his own home:

Minnesota +3 at Detroit: It's late November and the Lions are actually playing a game that matters?!?!  First place in the NFC North Pole Division is on the line in this battle between very flawed elf teams.  The Vikings snapped a four game losing streak against Arizona with a couple fluke 100 yard plays, and in the process sent Cardinal HC Bruce Arians to the ER with *chest pains.*  Both teams have horrible offensive lines and non-existent run games.  The Lions are better at QB, WR and kicker.  The Vikings are superior all across the board on defense, and are better coached.  Defense travels.  Defense wins championships.  Minnesota.

Washington +7.5 at Dallas: 9 in a row for Dallas and their negro wonder boy rookies, Prescott and Elliott.  The Redskins are on a pretty good streak as well, 6-1-1 since starting the season 0-2, but most of those games have been against the NFL's middle class, teams hovering at or just above or just below .500, so it's hard to tell how good they really are.  The Law of Averages in the National Parity League says the Cowboys are due for a loss, but the Law of Averages also says shitty coach Jay Gruden is also due for a loss.  I'll take the team getting the points.  Washington.

Arizona +4 at Atlanta: At the time I type this, Bruce Arians is still alive, and still expected to coach this game, having recovered from *chest pains* after watching his team give away a game to the Vikings. As it turns out, Arians is something of a hypochondriac, having multiple hospital calls during his long coaching career, claiming ear infections, kidney stones, migraines, even colon and prostate cancer.  If he really did suffer all those ailments, how come he's so fat?  Usually the terminally ill are pencil thin.  Anyway, the Cardinals have been a major disappointment, mainly due to the decline of Carson Palmer.  Palmer's looked washed up a couple times prior, but this time, at age 37, he might be finished for good.  Arizona's defense is still decent, and they have a running back, David Johnson, who could cause Atlanta's mediocre defense some problems.  They should be able to hang around for most of the game, but in the 4th quarter, when they need Palmer to make a play or two, they'll be out of luck.  Atlanta scores late to win the game and cover.  Atlanta.

Los Angeles +7 at New Orleans:  Trish Goff vs Drew Brees. . .'nuff said.  New Orleans.

BONUS COLLEGE GAMES:

TCU +2.5 at Texas: The failed Texas nigger head coach Charlie Strong has been playing the victim ever since his Longhorns did the impossible and lost to Kansas, and it became apparent he wasn't merely on the *hot seat,* but would undoubtedly be fired.  Strong used his Monday press conference to once again blame his sorry-ass 16-20 record (the worst head coaching record in the proud history of UT football) on Mack Brown once (for *leaving the cupboard bare*), Mack Brown twice (for leaving him with 9 bad apples he had to kick off the team), and Media (for creating *noise* which caused his players, who love him so much, to try too hard to save his job, causing them to choke on the field).  Strong has always painted himself as a victim. . .he claims he was passed over for jobs in the SEC (for which he assumes we will believe he was qualified) because he has a white wife, for example.  Because of his race and his constant crying about being victimized, Media always portrays Brown in the best possible light, saying what a *great man* he is, a *great leader,* etc., etc. while covering up his extra-marital affair at Louisville and not mentioning how little loyalty he has, firing assistant coaches at the drop of a dime to scapegoat them for Texas' sorry-ass play.  I can't believe any Big Time program doesn't know the truth, that Strong is a shitty coach who failed at Texas, and I'd be shocked if he ever got a Big Time job again. . .but I won't be shocked when he cries how hard it is for nigger coaches to get a second chance.  As for the game, TCU's defense has completely fallen apart, and monster Texas RB D'Onta Foreman should have no problem getting another 200 yard performance, sending crybaby Strong off into the sunset with a meaningless victory he will claim proves *how close* Texas is.  Texas.     

Michigan +7 at Ohio State: Michigan has the better defense, but it is a gambling defense that can get burned for the big play.  Against bottom-feeder teams like Rutgers and Maryland, it's no problem, but it almost got them beat by Colorado, but they managed to KO the Buffaloes QB before he could beat them on points.  JT Barrett is very similar to the Colorado QB, and is probably the difference maker in what on paper looks like a toss-up game.  Ohio State.

NFL Week 11 Picks

2-5 vs the spread last week, 33-32 for the year. . .

We've played enough football now where we can review my season preview and get an idea of how I did:

Season Preview

Division Winners:

AFC East: New England--on the money
AFC North: Cincinnati--could still win this shitty division, but doubtful
AFC South: Houston--on the money
AFC West: Oakland--on the money
AFC Wild Cards: Pittsburgh, New York Jets--way off!!

NFC East: New York--not bad, but didn't see Dallas coming
NFC North: Detroit--on the money. . .so far. . .will probably let me down
NFC South: Carolina--way off, shocked how bad Rivera's defense has been
NFC West: Arizona--way off 
NFC Wild Cards: Seattle, Atlanta--underestimated them both a little, both look like sure division winners

AFC Flop of the Year: Indianapolis--on the money
NFC Flop of the Year: Green Bay--on the money


Super Bowl: Arizona over Cincinnati--way, way, way off

Biggest misses were Chiefs and Cowboys, still don't think Chiefs have the weapons on offense to do much damage in the playoffs.  Not 100% convinced on Dak Prescott yet. . .and Dallas' defense isn't good enough.

My Revised Super Bowl pick would be: Oakland over Seattle

Pittsburgh -9 at Cleveland: Nigger Cleveland head coach Hue Jackson has lost ten in a row, nigger head coach Mike TomLin has lost four in a row.  Lesson: Don't hire a nigger to coach a National Football League team.  Expect a sloppy, penalty-filled game with neither Welfare Queen team giving more than a minimal effort.  Cleveland.  

Baltimore +7.5 at Dallas: The Ravens just might have the defense to slow down the Cowboys negro rookie wonder boys, Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott.  Remember when Joe Flacco was a Super Bowl MVP and one of the best Playoff QBs of All-Time?  Yup, he's faded even more than the faggot Aaron Rodgers.  The Ravens should be able to hang in there just enough to cover.  Baltimore.

Jacksonville +7 at Detroit: The Jaguar defense hasn't forced a turnover in 23 quarters, nearly 6 full games!!  This is the Law of Averages National Football League, so the Jags are due a shitload of fumbles and INTs.  The Lions haven't won a division title since 1993, yet this elf team somehow finds itself leading the NFC North Pole Division.  Well, the Lions have won only 1 playoff game in the last 59 years, and how is that even possible in the the Law of Averages National Football League?  Since the Lions futility has a history of defying the odds, it is more likely in this game that Jax gets their shitload of turnovers than Dee-troit continues a winning march to a division title.  This will probably be inept white coach Gus Bradley's last-ever win.  Jacksonville. 

Miami EVEN at Los Angeles: The Dolphins looked worse than the Browns at the start of the season, but have it turned it around the last 4 weeks, and it hasn't been due to new head coach/QB whisperer Adam Gase turning on any lightbulbs in mediocre QB Ryan Tannehill's head. . .Tannehill is still mediocre, but Gase figured out a work-around: run the fucking football.  Yup, an old school run game with draft-pick-bust-turned-All-Pro halfback Jay Ajayi has remade the Dolphins into a Wild Card contender.  Even the defense has begun to play better, perhaps due to not having to rush back onto the field every four snaps. . .last week the Dolphins Donkeykong Suh-led line finally looked like they hoped it would when they threw a Brinks truck load of money at the QB tripper/kicker/stomper, as they frightened Phillip Rivers into a horrible 4 pick game.  And so this is the week eternal head coach Jeff Fisher chooses to turn the Rams corpse-like offense over to rookie #1 draft pick Jared Goff!  Goff looked feeble in the preseason, and now after being ignored for 9 weeks, supposedly he has *absorbed* some QB magick by standing on the sideline watching Case Keenum's stumbles and bumbles?  Ha. . .right.  Take the Dolphin's defense this week in Fantasy Football.  Miami. 

Philadelphia +7 at Seattle: The Eagles managed something no other team has, they stalled Atlanta's offense. . .they beat the Falcons with a nickel-and-dime pass attack and a surprisingly strong rushing attack, but I doubt they can duplicate that winning formula against the Seahawk defense. . .Carson Wentz is gonna have to be able to challenge Seattle down the field, but so far in his rookie season, he hasn't shown that ability.  This should be a defense dominated game, with Seattle winning, but not covering.  Philadelphia.

Green Bay +2.5 at Washington: The Fudge Packers looked like a team ready to quit on their faggot QB in their embarrassing performance in Tennessee.  Challenged by Erin Rodgers to show more *energy,* the Fudge Packers came out and promptly gave up 21 straight points to the Remember The Titans Suck, the game was over in the first quarter, with both teams then enjoying 45 stress-free minutes of garbage time football.  The Fudge Packers have packed it on their faggot *leader.*  As long as Kirk Cousins keeps his evil Kirk CousINTs personality suppressed, the Redskins will have no problem cornholing Lavender Bay.  Washington.  

Houston +5.5 at Oakland: Broke Osweiler vs Derek Carr. . .'nuff said.  Oakland.