6-3 vs the spread last week, 8-7 for the year. The big news of the week is Hall of Fame caliber running back Adrian Peterson is out, after the Vikings tried to sneak him back in early in the week. C'mon, what were the Vikings thinking? Football is the Great American Amusement. It's bigger than Hollywood. One hundred million viewers per weekend, eating, drinking. Football communion. And the Vikings thought no one would notice #28 back on the field? The Temple of Football is so big, the governor of Minnesota had to step in to save the pigskin church from defilement. Adrian Peterson is a six foot one, two hundred twenty pound man in top physical condition, who runs with rage, with violence. His family says his daddy beat him, maybe that's why he is such a punishing runner, he sees his old man behind the face mask of every linebacker and db. Whatever. The average four year old boy stands three feet four, and weighs forty pounds. Now you got #28 in some kind of oedipal rage, towering over a four year old boy. He must seem a giant to the kid, his *son,* one of his bastard litter. With his huge black paw, he pries open his *son's* mouth, stuffs it with leaves, then takes a tree branch and beats the kid with such force, the wounds on his arms, legs and genitals are still oozing blood six days later when his *mother* takes him to a doctor. Peterson calls his psychotic rage *loving discipline,* and now tries to hide from judgment with his half-assed Bible study. Just another piece of garbage using Jesus as a human shield.
Tampa Bay +6.5 at Atlanta: Lovie Smith's Bucs are off to a terrible 0-2 start, terrible because the second loss was a real #2, at home to a beat-up St. Louis Rams team playing a third string QB. The Josh McCown signing looks foolish. Now that he's out of Marc Trestman's EZ QB system, McCown looks like what he always was, a clipboard jockey. Poor Lovie, he must be wishing for the good old Rex Grossman days in Chicago! Atlanta.
San Diego +2.5 at Buffalo: San Diego completely controlled Seattle in Week 2. Hard to believe, but Phillip Rivers will face more pressure this week from the Bills than he did last week against the World Champion Seahawks. C.J. Spiller, Fred Jackson and Sammy Watkins will be able to put points on the board against the Charger defense. Buffalo.
Minnesota +10 at New Orleans: The Vikings getting 10 points? Sure, they lost #28, but the Saints are winless, and their defense has evaporated. And their offense hasn't been that hot, either. Drew Brees has been a dump-off robot the first two games. Any team getting 10 points against a shitty defense is worth the risk. Minnesota.
Green Bay +2.5 at Detroit: The Packer defense is still crap, they needed a(nother) Marty Mornhinweg coaching blunder to escape the Jets last week. The offense got going though, as Jordy Nelson ran free through Rex Ryan's dbs, and now he and Aaron Rodgers go up against Detroit's PUP secondary. It was the Same Old Lions last week, giving away points left and right in a dreary 24-7 loss to Carolina. If the Lions don't want to start back down the old familiar road to a 5-11 or 6-10 season, they have to win at home against Green Bay. In a game featuring two leaky defenses, I'll take the team with the best QB. Green Bay.
San Francisco -2.5 at Arizona: The Cardinals defense is so good, they were able to win a road game with Drew Stanton at QB. True, it was against the Giants, but still. . . The 49ers collapsed against a soft Bears team at home last week. The Jim Harbaugh kool-aid seems watered down this year. His team lacks focus, making mental and physical errors you never saw in past years, either with the 49ers or at Stanford. Stanton couldn't even hit 50% of his passes against the terrible Giant defense, and now he has to lead the Cardinals against the Niners? Am I really picking Drew Stanton over the 49ers? No, I'm picking the Arizona defense over the 49ers. Arizona.
Denver +4.5 at Seattle: Seattle's defense couldn't get off the field last week versus the Chargers, with a couple of their players whining about the 94 degree weather. That's not the bad-ass Seattle we know. Beating up on Peyton Manning one more time should restore the Seahawk roar. Seattle.
Chicago +2.5 at New York Jets: The faggot Marc Trestman's Bears showed some rare toughness in beating the 49ers in San Francisco last week. They overcame injuries and big early deficit. Jay Cutler only threw for 176 yards, but he kept his head in the game all the way through, with 4 td passes and zero INTS. If the Bears keep this up, I'll have to quit calling Trestman a faggot. Jets QB Geno Smith was terrible in the second half against Green Bay, as New York blew a huge lead, and then Geno's only good pass was erased as Marty Mornhinweg cost his team the game tying td with a panicky time-out call. The Bears have the better team, but I don't believe Jay Cutler can go two weeks in a row without any turnovers. New York Jets.
I've never been good at figuring out point spreads, but I think I came in at 4-5 for last week.
ReplyDeleteI do know W/L, though. . . .
This week's picks from me:
TB/ATL – ATL
SD/BUFF – BUFF
MN/NO – NO
GB/DET – GB
SF/AR – SF
DEN/SEA – DEN
CHI/NYJ - CHI
A couple of thoughts for this year:
ReplyDeleteNE is going to to either have to commit to Jimmy Garaoppolo or draft a QB next year. Brady is certainly on the back end of his career but seems to be declining rapidly.
The same goes for Den with Manning, though he isn't steeply declining. The feeling I get with Manning is he is one good sack away from retirement. We may see a paralysis on the field with him.
Atlanta's OL should be better this week with Matthews back but also if they sub in Carami at RT over Holmes. Their ball-control was good against Cincy. They need to run more, though. They've got the talent for it at LT, RT, and C.
After Rivers' testing Seattle's Sherman last game, other QB's are going to go after Sherman. Seattle will need to blitz more which goes to the above statement about Manning. This next game may be his last.
Oh, man, that's all we need: Manning paralyzed on the field. He'd be a martyr and a saint. There'd be more national mourning than when JFK got it in the head.
ReplyDeleteI'm imagining him with his mouth even more crooked, Christopher Reeve headgear, wheeling around to high schools giving inspirational speeches.
ReplyDeleteStick a fork in this Falcons-Bucs game. It's done.
ReplyDeleteHaha. . .man, what a beating! You don't see many of those in the NFL. 3 games in to his new job, and Lovie Smith looks like a one-and -done. Total disaster. The 0-16 watch begins. The Josh McCown signing was a mistake, but you expect some pride from a Lovie Smith defense, but his players gave him nothing. And there's his old boy Devin Hester doing it again. Smith always got the most out of the Bears, I'm shocked how bad Tampa has looked.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you can take from this game about the Falcons. Tampa's defense had played fairly respectable the first two weeks. Atlanta at home is a monster, I guess.
The mistakes piled up. Ball stripped, etc. The Bucs beat themselves.
ReplyDeleteHester is better than I ever thought.
McCown didn't look that bad at the beginning, either. Some key passes were dropped on top of a strip. Tampa really beat itself. Atlanta smelled blood and didn't let up at all in the first half. Mike Smith needed it.
ReplyDeleteThe run offense looked good. They've got the runners and the line for it.
One thing Mike Smith won't allow is his players getting too high from the win which is way different than Mora.
Everytime Chelsea Manning chokes on the big one, I imagine you nodding and chuckling.
ReplyDeleteThe Lions banged-up defense shut down Aaron Rodgers about as well as you can. A pleasant surprise, for once, from the Lions.
ReplyDeleteThe NFL, man, you never know. The Giants looked like turds the first two games, now they run through Houston.
Really nice rollout by Chelsea and she flubbed it again. Her arm is looking weak, too.
ReplyDeleteTo paraphrase Dennis Green: Chelsea Manning is who we thought Chelsea Manning was.
ReplyDeleteThat game is on the flatscreen here at the jail, but I'm watching the 49ers-AZ on the computer. Hardnosed game.
Ha ha ha. . .vintage clutch INT by Manning!
ReplyDeletePerfectly timed pick from Chelsea...
ReplyDeleteHow does he do it? Montana never looked so shook up. Never. Not even when he got knocked out of games.
ReplyDeleteCompare Manning to a guy like Roethlisberger, who I think is a better QB, but not one of the all-time greats. Roethlisberger can get knocked to hell and back, and get up and throw a game-winning TD. . .no shakes, no pouts, just gets up and keeps on chuckin' it.
ReplyDeleteHa. . .that might have been the best pass I've ever seen Manning throw.
ReplyDeleteBut he'll fuck it up in OT.
Ben is the toughest QB I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteChelsea just brought his team back so she can come in OT.
Come is supposed to be choke. I'm now am an asshole who posts via dumb phone.
ReplyDeleteHaha. . .Manning's prettiest loss ever.
ReplyDeleteChelsea is having arm problems. She was wincing while warming up on the sideline in the fourth.
ReplyDelete