College Football Week 3 Picks

3-1 last week vs the spread, 6-5 for the year.  Definitely surprised how poorly Michigan played.  I didn't think Michigan was a great team, but Notre Dame ain't that hot, and Michigan should not have been blown out like that.  Very troubling for Brady Hoke, who looks dopier and dopier with each embarrassing loss.  The local media have him written off as a dead man walking.  I wish it were so.  I thought he was a terrible hire, but he looked like he knew what he was doing his first year, and shocked the hell out of me by finishing 11-2.  Since then, nothing but mediocre football and a dopey look on his fat face.  A lot of locals think Michigan will now implode, have a terrible year, and AD Dave Brandon will be forced to get rid of his first coaching hire.  But in truth, the loss to Notre Dame was only bad on the scoreboard.  ND didn't even gain 300 yards.  Michigan's shitty offense and four turnovers made Michigan's defense look worse than it actually was. I still think Michigan's defense, plus their easy schedule, gets Hoke 8 or 9 wins, and will get him one more year.  I wish it weren't so, but that's how I see it.

The Michigan State - Oregon game went just about how I called it, with State's defense finally breaking down late.  Still, nothing for the Spartans to be ashamed of, they had the best of Oregon for nearly 3 quarters, and had the game been played in East Lansing, they probably would have won.  The Spartans should win the rest of their games by 14+ EZ.  They'll finish 12-1 and find themselves left out of the playoffs because the rest of the Big 10 sucks, as was painfully evident Saturday.  

Ha!  Still laughing to think VaTech actually got 12 points against Urban Meyer's Buckeyes.  They were never in danger of not covering, and ended up winning the game outright, and winning it fairly easily. 

Pussy Coach of the Week: David Shaw. His Stanford team was tied with USC halfway through the 4th Quarter, and he has a fourth and twelve at the USC 32.  And he punts! He obviously had no confidence in his kicker, who had missed 2 earlier field goals.  But the fucking ball is on the USC 32, have some fucking guts and go for it.  His *strategy* was to punt and pin USC deep, and *put the game in the hands of his defense.*  That's not strategy, that's chickenshit football.  They pinned USC at their own 7, and what happened to our Pussy Coach of the Week, who put the game in the hands of his defense?  He lost, of course.  USC had NO TROUBLE marching down the field for the game winning field goal.   

Girls Schools Who Used To Beat Some Boys Schools But Now Lose To All Boys Schools: Northwestern and Vanderbilt.  What's up with Pat Fitzgerald at NW?  The Wildcats were some folks sleeper pick for the weak Big 10, where nearly every school is a girls school.  The Wildcats have a veteran team, 17 returning starters from a squad that played everybody except Michigan State tough last year.  They're 0-2 and just lost at home to a MAC team.  Vanderbilt might be even worse.  They've been blown out by a combined score of 78-10 in two home games, one of them against Temple!  Do the Commodes really miss James Franklin, the SEC's colored Pat Fitzgerald, that much??

BYU, one of my season preview longshot picks, beat the shit out of Texas in Austin.  They are going to go 12-0, and have ZERO chance at making the playoffs. Florida State will be undefeated, but the other three teams, the champs of the Big 12, Pac-12 and SEC, will all have one loss.  Hell, the SEC can probably get a two loss team in.  The excuse will be the power conference teams have much tougher schedules, but that really ain't the case.  If you look at Phil Steele's strength of schedule ratings, BYU's schedule is comparable to Alabama's, Baylor's and Virginia Tech's. . .and those three teams, if they won their conferences and had one or two losses, would surely get picked over a zero loss BYU.  It sucks to be Mormon. . .

An even worse slate of games in Week 3 than in Week 2.  There are only TWO games worth bothering over:

Georgia -5.5 at South Carolina: After Texas A&M walked into Columbia and beat the shit out of the Gamecocks, no excuse for Georgia not to do the same. They have the running backs and receivers to pile up the points, and South Carolina doesn't have much to scare Georgia's still suspect defense.  The only possible worry for the Dawgs is how 10 year back up QB Hutson Mason will play on the road.  Still, even if he sucks, Georgia should be able to cover 5.5 EZ.  Georgia.

UCLA -7.5 at Texas: UCLA, a playoff contender, has won ugly the first two weeks of the season against soft opponents.  In fact, last week's victory was pretty alarming, they gave up 35 points and 469 yards at home to Memphis(?!?!), barely hanging on for a 42-35 win.  Something don't smell right.  UCLA is a veteran team with 16 returning starters coming back from a big year.  Were they just reading their press clippings and didn't take their first two opponents seriously?  Or is there some problem festering in the locker room that is oozing onto the field?  Even though Texas got their ass handed to them by BYU last week, the Texas name should still be enough to motivate the Bruins to start playing up to their ability.  If they lose this one, then we'll know some stink is about to come out of LA.  As for Texas, new negro head coach Charlie Strong is trying to *build the program the right way* to guarantee *long term success.*  He's handing out suspensions left and right, and as a result, last week took a huge ass-whipping from BYU.  Listen, there were more than a few folks down in Texas who didn't take a cotton to the Longhorns hiring a colored boy.  The coach and the school have to fit, otherwise, well, just ask Rich Rodriguez about Michigan.  In Texas, a white coach might be able to take a beating from a bunch of Mormons while preaching about success down the road, but a negro is going to have to win, and win fast to keep his head out o de noose.  A win over UCLA would do old Charlie a world of good, but if UCLA wakes up and gives Texas another ass-whippin', you're gonna hear some rednecks grumbling that black really is the new Brown.  UCLA.