Arizona -4 at Buffalo: The Bills defense was horrible against the Jets. Mediocre Ryan Fitzpatrick looked like the Mad Bomber Daryle Lamonica, completing one deep pass after another, many of them against the suddenly crappy Darrelle Revis. So what was Rex Ryan's genius idea to fix things? Fire the Offensive Coordinator! And leave his slob brother Rob in charge of the defense! Now comes an even better deep passing attack, the Cardinals. No hope for the Bills. There is hope for Rex, though. He should make an entertaining addition to one of the many Sunday pregame shows next season. Arizona.
Cleveland +9.5 at Miami: An early season Toilet Bowl. . .both teams are led by rookie coaches, and one of them gets his first win by scheduling luck. The Browns have another injured quarterback. . .but does it really matter? All their quarterbacks since 1999 have been shitty, so now they got Cody Kessler? Same as the midget or Hoyer or Tim Couch or any of them. The Browns should just have one standard jersey for all their quarterbacks, it would save their equipment manager a lot of trouble. If Miami can't win this game, Adam Gase instantly becomes the worst coach in the NFL. Miami.
Detroit +8 at Green Bay: The Lions were flagged 17 times in their give-away loss to the Titans last week, including back-to-back touchdown plays, and QB Matthew Stafford threw a bonehead game-ending INT. So: Same Old Lions. Green Bay ain't Same Old Green Bay, though. They look like just another team, and Aaron Rodgers looked like Matthew Stafford with his crappy game-ending INT against the Vikings. Most folks would give the Packers the benefit of the doubt, given their overall excellence of the last 15 years or so. . .but not me. . .that was then, and this is now. . .and this is a game between two stumbling football teams. Take the points. Detroit.
BONUS LIONS - PACKERS, FAGGOT EDITION: So really, why has Aaron Rodgers play declined so markedly last year and the first two game this year? Is he really a faggot whose personal life, meaning the attempt to hide his faggotry, become so complicated, and such a hassle (the fake celebrity girlfriend thing is a time-consuming chore, and has now infected his brother) that he can no longer give football the focus he used to? This theory is given support by the following AGC blind item:
Atlanta +3 at New Orleans: New Orleans sucks. Even their offense isn't very good, anymore. Atlanta's getting points? Ha ha! That's like taking candy from a baby! Atlanta.
Man, the Aaron Rodgers gay story. It's Brokeback Football, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteThat Lanflisi guy had all sorts of weird tweets before the "break up." Like a tweet of he and Rodgers on the beach sitting in chairs with Lanflisi posting something like, "I'm bought. Owned. By him." Something like that.
It was little girl shit. It was, shit, it was football girlfriend shit.
No beef with me if he's a homo. It's his asshole, not mine. But the whole Olivia Munn thing reeks of set up. Rodgers has a homo rumor problem, his publicist needs to quash it, puts out feelers in the entertainment community, finds a woman who is willing to play along, and there you go.
Tom Cruise has had the same set ups happen for him. He doesn't date. He acts. And every actor needs a good screen partner to complete the fiction.
It doesn't make sense, this Rodgers/Munn thing. I'll tell you who everyone has no doubt about whether he's straight is Johnny Damn Manziel. And you don't see anyone doing some Ms. LonelyHearts for him.
Back to the real stuff.
Arizona at Buff - Fat slob cuckold Rex hires Fat Slob Brother who is probably into gay lumberjacks for DC. What could go wrong? Fat Slob Rob was so good at NOLA! Ha ha ha! I still take the points for Buff. As per winner? AZ by 2.
Cleveland and Miami - Who and What and Where? This is like an Abbot and Costello routine. Who the fuck are these teams? The only reason I semi care about this game is because Richie Incognito is on the Dolphins roster. Oh wait, he's gone? When did that happen? Oh, because he was bullying someone? Like the equipment manager? Wait, he was "bullying" a 320 lb offensive lineman? And Miami got rid of him for it?
Fuck the Fins. As bad as the Browns are, and how well they've managed their talent, well as in not well at all, I'm still rooting for them. They should go ahead and bring back Kosar. He's still under 60, right? That means he should be good for 5 decent passes a game which is more than any Brown QB has done since his departure.
Miami points and win.
Dee-Troit and GB - A gay QB and his best receiver is named Jordy. What is this? A boy band reunion? Call 1998 back, get your tips frosted, and make the girls gooey and trade blow jobs backstage time but don't fiddle with the girls because of "personal beliefs."
Yeah, right. The 8 pts make it easy. Take them. Only question is who wins this thing? GB, of course. They'll win on a safety sack with :00 on the clock from a botched snap that Stafford picks up, is about to run out of the endzone but a ref's shoe, that came off during the melee somehow, trips him up, causes a fumble, and GB picks it up for 2 pts and a 1 pt win.
Or something. I really am not up on the rulebook nowadays but something fucked up will happen and take victory from the jaws of Lions.
Pitts and Philly - Jim Schwartz. Man, what I miss about him is how even the post game handshake when he was HC was a fucking show in and of itself.
I'm going Pitt on this game because it's still early in the year and Big Ben's parts haven't yet rusted. Just wait, though. He's a walking injury now. The once indestructible has acquired a body made of glass. But he's not breaking yet. Pts and win for Pitt.
Atlanta and NOLA - At NOLA? Shit. Birds love shitting for cover at the Superdome. I give this to NOLA, pts and all. Shannahan is shit, Quinn is shit, Ryan is okay (good with good coaching), and they are fucking everything up with piss poor playcalling. I liked the hurry up from last week but even that felt forced. It should flow, confuse defenses, but it seems like some guys on O were asking the D wtf was the play.
Maybe it's the battle of the sucks or whatever, but the Atlanta D is a mess and Brees can still carve up a secondary, especially if he's not pressured. And Atlanta isn't pressuring anyone except for the fans to buy the PSC licenses for the new billion dollar plus playground.
NOLA, pts and all
I hope there is some BLM shit in Charlotte in Sunday. . .maybe they can loot the fucking hot dog and beer stands.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha. . .Stafford got just enough garbage time TDs and yards to allow the Lions to cover. Stafford looked like Dan Marion once the Lions fell behind 31-3.
ReplyDeleteZimmer is the second best coach. . .he takes garbage and wins. . .just like #1, Belichick.
I wonder if anybody will hire Les Miles? Such an ugly finish at LSU, with that horrible offense and incompetent QB play, I can't imagine any Power 5 school above the level of Kansas would risk him. Probably the greatest coach to ever go out in such a shabby fashion.
ReplyDeleteNFC is littered with garbage teams. . .Vikings in the Super Bowl. What's wrong with Newton? Is he a faggot, too?
ReplyDeleteEagles might be second best, though I still have my doubts about Wentz. . .
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Philly makes the playoffs, some team might give Schwartz a second chance HC job?
Eagles starting to knock Big Ben around real good. . .nigger coach Tomlin might be well advised to call it a day and put in the back-up, save Big Ben for another Sunday.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, you see that score for the Texans/Pats game? What a joke. 27 to 0. Looks like Houston got a case of the fumbles. Belechick's temp QB barely had to show up. 11/19 for 103 yards and zero td's and zero INT's.
ReplyDeleteYou really have to question O'Brien's judgment at this point regarding quarterbacks. Osweiler for that much dough and he is not putting Houston over.
The talking heads said something about how the Charlotte riots got into the heads of the Panther players. Something got to Newton what with his 3 interceptions.
ReplyDeleteGiven the injury proneness of Bradford, there is no way he can play QB all season. He moves awkwardly back there and is due for an awkward hit/tackle. Something with his leg, probably a blown out knee or mangled ankle.
How come Houston is just as schizophrenic with O'Brien as they were with Kubiak, and now all of a sudden, Kubiak at Denver looks like Vince Lombardi??
ReplyDeleteOwnership can have a lot of influence on a team, too. It's like the Falcons after the Vick scandal followed up by the Petrino debacle. Those two events were immensely difficult for Arthur Blank who then took a bit of a break from football operations and went on the offensive as per building back the Falcons reputation.
ReplyDeleteThis meant he wasn't meddling with the coaching.
Once he recovered from embarrassment, Blank came back on with his meddling.
You have to wonder whether that's the case in Houston. Think of the big difference between Denver and Houston. Denver has John Elway as their football rep from the owners, and the guy actually knows football.
It's got to be an ownership problem in Houston. They should be better than they are, and certain better than getting blown out by a third string qb and a hodgepodge of talent otherwise from NE.
You might be right about Elway, he might be able to keep Kubiak *centered* or *grounded.*
ReplyDeleteI'll probably watch the debate tonight instead of the football game, I'm hoping Hillary has a seizure or coughing fit, or her piss bag breaks. . .
I'm flipping back and forth tonight if I can.
ReplyDeleteI figure there will be an emergency commercial break for Hillary having to empty her shit bag as some point
The debate was horrible. . .two clowns screeching about an imaginary America.
ReplyDeleteHa! The only thing more horrible than the debate is the Saints *defense.*
ReplyDeleteMan, that debate was a real stinker. And I watched every minute of it
ReplyDeleteAwful. . .we needed a double assassination.
ReplyDeleteMan, look at the Saints!! Ha ha! Sean Payton has become the Rich Rodriguez of the NFL. . .a coach with a serviceable but sloppy offense, and ZERO defense. Can't win anymore. With the trash in the NFC, I think my preseason pick of Atlanta as a wild card looks good, and if Can Newton has turned into a Nigger Lives Matter QB, Atlanta may even win the division.
ReplyDeleteThis game sucks as badly as the debate
ReplyDeleteThat NOLA receiver catches a pass behind the line, isn't going to go anywhere, no timeouts. And he tries to make something happen that is not going to happen.
ReplyDeleteGO OUT!!!
NOLA offense is a mess. The defense is non existent.
Just win, baby!
ReplyDeleteLook at that hole in the Saints D on Freeman's run! They don't want to tackle. . .
Sean Payton will become the offense version of Jeff Fisher. . .he'll coach for 10 - 15 more years, always around the 6-10 - 9-7 mark. . .
ReplyDeleteMan, what if LSU hired RichRod!
ReplyDeleteTrump needs to coach the Saints. He'll tell 'em what's wrong.
ReplyDelete"The problem is we don't win anymore. We don't! We don't win, okay? I mean, we've got you big guys up front, and I guess you're supposed to block, but, y'know....we don't block! We just don't block. I'll tell ya the problem. We don't block. And tackle? We don't tackle. I'm very good at knowing that tackling is important in football. And we don't do it anymore. We've got clowns out there making these efforts and they don't know what they hell they're doing, right? Amirite? Of course. I'm right...and I'm gonna tell you about the helmets, okay? Let me tell you about the helmets: They don't make tackles by themselves. Alright? I mean, before everyone got concerned about brain damage, we had helmets that were a single bar, okay?, and circular ear holes, and none of that funny business on the crown of the, is it the crown? is that what they call it? you know, on the crown of the head. That octagonal thing, look, some guy somewhere said that square would make the players safe, and what do we have? We don't win. We don't tackle. We don't block, okay."
Ha ha! Right on the money. . .
ReplyDelete