Michigan +5.5 at Utah: After months and months of off-the-field Harbaugh Mania, (American Sniper, satellite camps, roadside rescues, etc., etc.), Jim Harbaugh actually has to coach a game. . .and against a pretty solid Utah team featuring one of the nation's best running backs, Devontae Booker, and a tough defense loaded with strong pass rushers. Harbaugh's biggest problem is he doesn't have a QB. All hope lies with Harbaugh working the same kind of transformation he did with Alex Smith to Iowa transfer/5th year senior Jake Rudock. If Rudock isn't the starter, and the Wolverines have to go with Shane Morris (who has more concussions than TD passes), then forget it, Utah covers EZ. But you gotta drink the Harbaugh koolaid for the first game, at least. Harbaugh squeezes just enough out of Rudock to spring an upset. Michigan.
TCU -14 at Minnesota: Minnesota is good enough to win the crappy Big 10 West, but they don't have nearly the firepower to hang with Trevone Boykin and the Horned Frogs. The Gophers time-chewing ground game ought to keep them close for a half, but Texas Christian blows past them late. TCU.
Stanford -12 at Northwestern: I predicted in last year's season preview Stanford would fall off, and they did, losing 5 games. Negro wonder boy head coach David Shaw no longer had Jim Harbaugh's players to auto-pilot through games, and the results spoke for themselves. Now he loses most of last year's elite defense, but has the EZist schedule in the Pac-12 (only one tough road game, at USC, and their coach is a drunken buffoon, so. . .), so the Cardinal might only lose 3 or 4 this year. Pat Fitzgerald won 10 games three years ago, and nobody expects the Wildcats to win 10 year in and year out, but two straight losing seasons in the soft Big 10 West is hard to figure out for a guy who once seemed like America's #1 Whiz Kid coach. I see a bounce-back year for Fitzgerald, who returns most of a decent defense, and I see it beginning with an UPSET SPECIAL. No way a good white coach like Patty F. can't win at home against a bum negro coach. Northwestern.
Louisville +11 vs Auburn (at Atlanta, GA): Auburn still had a National Championship caliber offense last year, but their defense fell apart badly as the year wore on. Gus Malzahn hired Florida flop head coach Will Muskrat or whatever to fix the mess. Muskrat or whatever had a great defense at Florida, but his offense couldn't get out of its own way. If he can bring the same defense to Auburn, they're in the Playoffs, as their offense should rack up the points and yards once again. Bizarro head coach Bobby Petrino had a decent season in his return to Louisville, but when he faced a real team, Georgia, in a bowl game, he got his ass handed to him. Expect the same here. Auburn.
Virginia +17.5 at UCLA: Virginia stinks, and UCLA is loaded. UCLA should cover EZ, except. . .this is the first game for their much-hyped Jew Freshman starting QB, Josh Rosen. And, oddly, it seems Bruins head coach Jim Mora is jealous of all the attention Rosen gets. Anyway, for some reason, Mora dragged out naming Rosen the starter, even though his main competition was Rick Neuheisel's kid, Jerry, who is a worse QB than his faggy dad. Maybe Rosen looked like Ron Paulus in practice? Who knows? It shouldn't matter. Even Paulus could beat Virginia by 20. UCLA.
Texas +9.5 at Notre Dame: Year II for Charlie Strong, who last year had more *moral* victories than real victories. He blamed everybody but himself while congratulating himself for the *foundation* he was laying. OK. Win some fucking games this year, then. He won't win this one. Brian Kelly is a tough white coach coming off a terrible year. The Irish's problem last year was defense, they didn't have one, even Northwestern put up 43 on them. But Texas don't have much of an offense, so even if ND's defense is still a little leaky, given the head coaching match-up, Notre Dame should still cover (Kelly beat David Shaw last year, for example). Notre Dame.
Wisconsin +10.5 vs Alabama (at Arlington, TX): Buttinsky Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez forced another head coach to seek greener pastures. . er, uh, in the case of Gary Andersen, the browner pastures of Corvallis, Oregon, so. . .Wisconsin had to bring back their old offensive coordinator, Paul Chryst, who had a losing record in three years at Pittsburgh. Neither team has a QB, but Alabama has everything else, and ought to run all over the Badgers. Wisconsin only getting 10.5? You kidding?!?! Remember how AWFUL they looked against OSU? You can bet your life on the Tide. NO WAY this game is close. Alabama.
Ohio State -14.5 at Virginia Tech: The last team to beat the Bucks and to hold them under 30 points was Va Tech. . .and both teams return almost all their starters, and OSU has to play without college football's Great White Hype, Joey Bosa, so the Hokies can win again this year, right? Right? Uh. . .gee, why don't anybody think Va Tech can win? Because Ohio State just crushed everybody else after that game, and Va Tech lost to a bunch of stumblebum teams? I guess. And because this time the Beast, Cardale Jones, will start at QB, instead of J.T. Barrett, who was overwhelmed by the Hokie pass rush? I guess. I don't know. I actually think Va Tech has a chance, and an even better chance to at least beat the 14.5 point spread. Frank Beamer clearly knows how to attack the OSU offense, the question is whether they can rattle Jones, who is a QB tank, compared to the VW Beetle Barrett. Home underdog getting 14.5 points in a Monday night game? I'll take that. Virginia Tech.
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