It was great fun for about 2 1/2 years to mock old Urban Meyer at Ohio State, winning all those games that didn't count against a bunch of girls' school teams. . .then OSU went into East Lansing and ran through Michigan State's usually rock solid defense. . .that was the tip-off Meyer was about to climb back to the top. Everybody knows the rest of the story, the 3 game demolition (with a 3rd string QB) of Wisconsin, Alabama and Oregon to win the National Championship. Now, Meyer is still (and always will be) a drama queen with a phony's script, but we have to give the son-of-a-bitch credit for his football coaching. I doubt there's ever been a more impressive season-ending run than what Meyer cooked up with his bench-warmer QBs. The Buckeye offense DESTROYED Wiscy, Bama and the Ducks. All three supposed tough defenses were helpless against 3rd string QB Cardale Jones and running back Ezekiel Elliott. Meyer had defensive genius Nick Saban eating his dust at the end of the CFP semi-final. And there was no luck involved (indeed, all the *bad luck* went against OSU, with their QB injuries) in the Buckeye steamroll to the title, no bonehead calls by refs to tilt the games their way. . .they simply beat the shit out of everybody they played. Meyer put together an indefensible offense and in the process removed the tarnish to his coaching reputation that formed during his bizarre end at Florida. Meyer is still an unlikable prick. . .but he wins football games better than any Big Time College Football coach who ever lived (excepting a couple at Our Lady). And he's going to keep on winning this year, as the Buckeyes have an even better team: the same brutalizing offense now paired with what should be a Top 10 defense. . .and another schedule of mostly girls' schools. They open at Virginia Tech, the only team to beat them last year, in the early post-Braxton Miller days, and then have 9 straight scrimmages until ending the season against Michigan State (in Columbus) and then a trip to Ann Arbor for the first Meyer - Harbaugh Bowl. Even with the Buckeye's sitting a few starters (including Joey Bosa, the J.J. Watt of college football, i.e., Great White Hype) against Va Tech, there's still not a safer bet for the Playoffs than the Buckeyes. I doubt they'll lose a game in the regular season. . .it's possible they could lose one game. . .but they aren't gonna lose two when they only play three decent teams (and Virginia Tech and Michigan ain't much more than decent). The Buckeyes are in the Playoffs. . .
The Other Three Playoff Teams:
After Georgia has let me down so many times, why would I pick them again this year? Especially when Missouri, who has somehow managed to win the SEC East the last two years (despite the fact Georgia is ten times better) has the EZist schedule in the SEC? And this year Georgia finally has to play a halfway-tough schedule (match against biggest possible SEC East threat, Tennessee, is on the road, as are games against Auburn and Georgia Tech, plus a home game against Big Boy Alabama. . .and a possible tough neutral site contest against Florida, depending on how quickly the new Gators coach fixes the offense). Missouri has a great coach, Gary Pinkel, the Bill Snyder of the SEC, but I just can't pick them. . .this year Georgia's huge talent advantage finally wins out. And the Dawgs showed some signs late last year they were ready to shed the Clean Shirt defense label, and the D ought to be even better this year. On offense they got Nick Chubb, who had a better late season finish than any running back other than Ezekiel Elliott. Georgia's really only got two question marks: Head Coach Mark Richt, who never quite wins the Big One, and sometimes loses some little ones (uh, remember last year's Florida game?) and QB. . .as in, who the Hell is Georgia's QB? I have no idea. . .but Richt has four EZ games to open the season, plenty of time to get it figured out before Alabama arrives on Oct 3. . .and Alabama's QB situation ain't much better. . .so we pick Georgia to ride out of the SEC and into the Playoffs. Who will Georgia beat from the West in the SEC title game? Forget about Texas A&M (too soft) and Ole Miss (no QB and a couple holes on D). . .Alabama and LSU have QB questions, Mississippi State has the SEC's best returning QB, but they lost just about everybody else. . . a Big 10 team destroyed Alabama last year, so maybe I should pick Wisconsin South, Arkansas, but they have a brutal schedule. . .that leaves Auburn, with their new defensive coordinator, the guy who couldn't head coach Florida, Will Muskrat or whatever. OK. Auburn wins the West.
There's no way the CFP bones the Big 12 a second consecutive year. The Big 12 winner is IN. And the Big 12 champ will be:
TCU, the only team that might have been on Ohio State's level at the end of last season. The Horned Frogs (!?!?) have ten starters back from the nation's #2 points-per-game offense, including the Big One, QB and Heisman Favorite Trevone Boykin. But is their defense good enough? Which means, can they outscore Baylor at home in the season-ender (I figure TCU will lose one of their two Oklahoma road games)? Baylor has an even easier schedule than TCU (only one Oklahoma road game), but the memory of the way they choked against Michigan State in the Cotton Bowl bothers me. . .they were undisciplined, cocky, and downright stupid in the fourth quarter. They lack a Champion's class. . .can't pick them. The Big 12's traditional powers, Oklahoma and Texas, are nothing special.
Who gets the final CFP spot? Notre Dame? With their schedule (Texas, Georgia Tech, Clemson, USC, Stanford), there's no way they finish with less than two losses. That leaves either the ACC winner (Clemson or Georgia Tech) or the Pac-12 winner (Oregon, USC, Arizona State, UCLA, Hell, maybe even Utah). Clemson has the best QB, Deshaun Watson (at least, for as long as his knee holds out) and the most manageable schedule. We'll give them the #4 seed.
So here's your CFP bracket:
#1 Ohio State vs #4 Clemson
#2 TCU vs #3 Georgia
Next Best 4:
Michigan State, Oregon, Auburn, Georgia Tech
Dark Horse 4:
UCLA, Virginia Tech, Utah, West Virginia
Jew Freshman QB of the Year:
Josh Rosen, UCLA. . .got all the pieces surrounding him to win BIG right away, so if he's as good as his high school hype, we'll have a Jew Tebow, minus the media backlash against his religion, of course. And get ready to hear over and over and over again how smart and successful his parents are. . .oy vey!
Darrell Hazell Shitty Negro Wonder Boy Coach of the Year:
Who will have the worst season? Charlie Strong (Texas), James Franklin (Penn State), Kevin Sumlin (Texas A&M) or David Shaw (Stanford)? Strong. Charlie set the NCAA record for moral victories in his first year in Austin. You wonder if the old blueblood Longhorn boosters, who put up with Massah Charlie's ridiculous housecleaning routine last year, will take all those fake victories again this year, or will they make quick work of their negro wonder boy experiment, and look for a white man (Mark Dantonio?) to clean up Charlie's mess? Any half-way decent white coach working with Texas' talent and soft schedule should win 10 games. I bet Charlie don't get more than 8.
Fading Big 10 Coach of the Year:
Pat Fitzgerald (Northwestern) or Kirk Ferentz (Iowa)? Both have had a couple of mediocre seasons while playing soft schedules (especially Iowa) in the weakest division of a Power conference. It will be particularly bad for Ferentz if he has another crummy season while Michigan rebounds with the 5th year senior QB he chased away (Jake Rudock). Once again NU has the tougher schedule, but I'll still pick Fitzgerald to have the better season--it's hard to believe his best years are already behind him at age 40. . .plus he's got 8 starters back from a decent defense.
Shittiest White (or kinda White) Coaches:
1. Norm Chow (Hawaii)
2. Tim Beckman (Illinois)
3. Doug Martin (New Mexico State)
4. Todd Monken (Southern Mississippi)
5. Ron Turner (Florida International)
Jameis Winston Negro QB Assault on White Girl of the Year:
De'Andre Johnson
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