NFL Week 7 Picks
4-2 vs the spread last week, 21-20 for the year. . .
Chicago +8.5 at Green Bay: Lovie Smith was 81-63 as HC of the Bears, won an NFC Championship with Rex Grossman (!?!?) as QB. . .and they fired him after a 10-6 season. Naturally, the Bears haven't come close to that in the 4 years since. His immediate successor, the faggot Marc Trestman, was an absolute disaster, turning the Monsters of the Midway into a battered wife of a defense. . .Trestman left such a gigantic mess, even the previously successful John Fox looks helpless to fix it. The Bears are years away from being good. Speaking of faggots, it seems everybody now openly wonders what has happened to Aaron Rodgers, who just a season ago was playing at All-Time Great levels. Though *respectable* Sports Media won't discuss it, the only rational explanation for the diminished aaron rodgers must be that the years of living *in the faggot closet* have taken their toll, and he can no longer compartmentalize his homosexuality. His hunger to be openly queer must now be leaking into his professional life, and his job performance has suffered. In athletics, we haven't seen such a sudden non-injury or non-age related decline since the invincible Mike Tyson was shockingly knocked senseless by the flabby journeyman Buster Douglas. Green Bay, with their sexually poisoned QB, is a house of cards waiting to topple. UPSET SPECIAL: Chicago.
Minnesota -3 at Philadelphia: The Carson Wentz Wonder Boy routine is beginning to be exposed as the sham we believed it to be. . .and now Wonder Boy has got to go against the toughest defense in the National Football League. The Vikings will smother Wentz and the Eagles. Samantha Bradford, and don't buy the talk that she has finally *blossomed,* she's still a shitty QB, gets the last laugh against her former team, but only because she gets to ride on the Purple People Eater's back. Minnesota.
Washington +1 at Detroit: Even more surprising than the Redskins 4-2 record, because 3 of their wins are over garbage teams, is the Lions 3-3 record. The Lions defense is an injury-riddled mess, they couldn't even stop Case Keenum, yet they've won their last two games because Matthew Stafford has played like a #1 Over-All Draft Pick. . .will he maintain that level of play? Probably not. . .old Matty is a game QB for sure, but he just can't seem to consistently perform at a high level. And, oh yeah, the Lions don't miss Calvin *MegaHype* Johnson AT ALL. They got plenty of other guys who can fumble away the game in the last minute. Jay Gruden and Kirk Cousins are the definition of *Smoke and Mirrors*. . .the Redskins are a mediocre team from a mediocre division, and they may stumble into the playoffs again, but they don't have a chance of being a real winner. The Law of Averages in this Pretenders Bowl favors the Redskins, simply because Stafford is due for one of his patented multi-INT games. Washington.
Tampa Bay EVEN at San Francisco: Two offensive *geniuses,* Dirk Koetter and Chip Kelly, match *wits* in this Salad Bowl of football lightweights. Chip Kelly tried the fool's paradise of changing QBs last week, and got his ass handed to him by Rex Ryan, as Colin Halfernigger played so bad, everybody now wants him to keep kneeling for the National Anthem. Dirk Koetter hasn't improved Jameis Winston. In fact, the raper of white women played better last year under Lovie Smith. But Chip Kelly's a basket case headed for an ugly exit out of the League, and even the raggedy-assed Buccaneers, who are surprisingly the only team this year to really take advantage of Atlanta's spotty defense, are an EZ pick in this one. Tampa Bay.
San Diego +6 at Atlanta: The Chargers only half-imploded in the last two minutes against the Broncos last week, and actually managed to hang on and beat the quarterback-challenged Super Bowl champs. Mike McCoy was just so gosh-darned proud of his boys, he actually believes they've turned the proverbial corner. No. The Falcons were robbed of a Denver-Seattle Road Double by the zebras, who looked the other way on an obvious pass interference against Julio Jones that would have sent Atlanta on its way to a game-winning field goal. But that zebra-tainted loss hasn't stopped the Matt Ryan-for-MVP chatter. The veteran QB, who in previous seasons looked to be cut from the same cloth as Matthew Stafford and Jay Cutler, is playing at a 5500 yd, 40 td, 8 int Monster Season pace. Can he keep it up? And even the Falcons leaky defense looks to be improving over the last two weeks. At this point, only the Minnesota Vikings can be said to be clearly better in the NFC. Atlanta.
New England -7 at Pittsburgh: The negro head coached Steelers did it again: took the week off against a shitty opponent, and suffered an embarrassing upset defeat against the woeful Miami Dolphins. . .and to make matters worse, their broken-down QB Ben Roethlisberger suffered yet another injury, and is now sidelined once again. Something tells me negro Mike Tomlin won't do quite as well as Bill Belichick did without his QB. New England.
I would have gone with your Chicago prediction, too.
ReplyDeleteMN vs Philly - MN.
Wash vs Detroit - Deeetroit
TB vs SF - TB. The whole QB change stuff rarely goes well and it's not like Kaep reversed his regression by riding the pine, nor last week's performance. In fact, he should look even worse because he'll be pushing harder for a good outing.
SD vs Atlanta - Atlanta. SD likes to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory even more than the Falcons
NE vs Pitts - NE. Belechick, Belechick, Belechick.
Belechick makes all the other NFL coaches the middle child.
Big Ben is done. He doesn't recover like he once did. Truth be told, he should take up the booze again. He was like Frank the Tank from Old School on that stuff - didn't feel a thing.
Now he's the domesticated Frank, going to Bed, Bath and Beyond with his wife and kids and eating his vegetables.
Some guys are better with booze as oil for those aching bones and joints. Big Ben is one of them. Or like a musician who does better on the junk.
Packers got lucky Hoyer broke his arm. . .if the Packers manage to stumble into the playoffs, they'll be the first team out. . .
ReplyDeleteHa ha! You're right about Big Ben! He shoulda followed the old school Bobby Layne pattern. . .but it's funny how that lightweight Manziel couldn't do it. . .imagine what contempt a guy like Bobby Layne would have for Johnny *Football*. . .Layne would call Manziel Johnny Frisbee.
Ha ha ha ha! Stafford stole one from the Redskins! Great game-winning drive. Stupid ass Jay Gruden couldn't believe it.
ReplyDeleteStafford's winning these games on his own. . .no RB, no TE. . .100 yr old Anquan Boldin is his *weapon.*
ReplyDeleteIf that Stafford-to-Boldin pass had been Stafford-to-Calvin Johnson, Johnson woulda fumbled at the goal line. . .he's not missed.
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA!!!
ReplyDeleteDetroit pulled that one out. Man, I looked at the score and the time and gave up on it and then saw the highlight. Amazing.
Megatron was good for the blowouts, little more.
Gotta admit, Julio Jones is clutch, despite being outwrestled last week. And the Falcon defense is looking good.
San Diego should do Rivers a favor and trade him to a team that can win in the next 2 years. He's not going anywhere in SD.
Jones is a beast. . .one of the few Alabama skill players that is actually good in the NFL.
ReplyDeleteRivers. . .he's one of the best QBs never to win anything. . .Jeff Fisher would probably kill his firstborn to get him.
Fisher should have traded his first round pick, Jeff "The Sun Rises Where?" Goff, to the Chargers and maybe the second round for Rivers. What with Gurley already with the Rams, Rivers could make something happen.
ReplyDeleteIf Jones keeps it up, he may wind up being the best NFL receiver I've ever seen, even better than Rice and Moss.
He's certainly the best college receiver I've ever seen - he made the Bama QB's look good, even
Best college receiver I ever saw was a nigger named Charles Rogers, at Michigan State. . .big with unbelievable speed. . .BUT. . .total pothead. . .he got an injury then just laid around smoking dope and that was it. . .smoked a career away. . .he shoulda counseled Josh Gordon, but he's probably in jail somewhere, and don't have a dime to make a phone call.
ReplyDeleteHow's that faggot Joey Bosa look for SD? They're gonna try and make him the new JJ Watt.
ReplyDeleteWell. . .I give Quinn credit for not playing pussy football...but that's a tough loss for Atlanta.
ReplyDeleteQuinn reminds me of Brian Bilick, in that both coaches got hired from Coordinator positions, but as Head Coaches, the side of the ball where they used to Coordinate sucks.
ReplyDeleteTony Dungy dogging Quinn on the NBC pregame show, preaching that old school football. . .punt, pin them deep, rely on your defense. . .dumb nigger. . .Quinn made the right decision, go for it. .he realizes he can't rely on his defense. . .
ReplyDeleteThey showed a little clip of Quinn's post game press conference--the guy amazes me how serenely he accepts these losses!
Remember when football teams used to have a fullback? Now you can't make a 4th and one, anymore, running the ball. Harbaugh uses a fullback at Michigan. Line up in the I, give the fucking fullback the ball, you get your fucking yard. Instead, in this modern ball, they got a half-back 6 or 7 yards deep. . .
ReplyDeleteOh, I remember using the fullback. Tom Rathman for the Niners, then that kind of modified FB/HB guy in Tampa Alstott.
ReplyDeleteFalcons ran for the first down on 4 and 1 - hold on, let me deal with the QB sneak attempt from Ryan.
That was one of the lamest QB sneaks ever seen in the history of QB sneaks. You may as well have thrown me in there to sneak it across. Ryan stayed standing nearly straight up. If Quinn wants to try that shit again, he needs to look up some Brady sneaks where Brady, a slower guy than Ryan, puts his head down and drives/dives forward. Ryan's attempt was horrible. It's not that the opponent stopped him so much as Ryan didn't give that play a chance. It was horrific.
On the 4 and 1, I agreed with Quinn going for it rather than punting because the defense was NOT stopping the opponent enough. Also, I think it's Alford? Maybe it's another defensive player for the Falcons, who is something like the most penalized guy in the league. Just looked it up - it's Alford.
So, if SD passes deep after a punt, they should give one shot towards Alford to pick up some cheap yards because the guy will be penalized. We won't go into how Jones is not being arm barred every fucking game now when going for a catch. No penalties called. We won't go into that shit.
But Quinn made the right decision. It was 50/50, a coin flip. Almost. What put it in the going for it favor was the defense wasn't stopping Rivers and Alford would likely pick up a PI penalty.
But your point is the one I screamed about - Atlanta went with a singleback scheme for the 4 and 1.
That was it. That was their play for one yard. Singleback bullshit. This wasn't 2 and 10 in the third quarter. This was to continue the game.
Singleback.
They have a fullback named DeMarco who is damn good. Quinn's offensive scheme was bullshit on that play. What the fuck happened to the I formation?
It may sound old school, but it wasn't long ago I bitched about the 3-4 not being used often enough and look at the league now. About half the teams are on a 3-4 when a decade ago it was maybe 2 or 3. Maybe.
But back to the I formation. Very simple. QB, FB, and HB. In a line behind the center. QB takes the snap, FB runs by, HB takes the handoff, FB clears a path, HB runs through it.
Or better yet, a Power I.
Even play from the I and hand it off to the FB. FB's used to be those guys who couldn't get more than 3 but rarely got less than 1. There was a guy named Bob Christian that Coach Reeves would use in those situations. It's an easy play, you aren't, or shouldn't, going to have guys miss assignments. Run it forward. But at least with a bowling ball FB making a hole.
But no, instead the Falcons go for a singleback bullshit formation where the HB runs towards daylight - which is fine in almost every other situation but a 3 or 4 and 1.
These offensive gurus think their teams are a lot smarter than they are. Even if you have a genius QB, you still have a bunch of dumbasses on that field. I'd challenge any NFL team (except maybe the Patriots) to have half their players be able to smoothly read a single page of Oliver Twist.
I would bet money that every team, except the Pats, could not achieve 50% of their players reading a single page of Oliver Twist out loud. That's not a joke.
And some teams likely could not achieve 25% rates. That's not a joke.
Point being, these offensive coaches think football is complicated when it's not. This was the innate genius of Madden when he said seemingly stupid shit like, "football is where the team that scores the most points, wins."
Everyone knows that shit and it's not like Madden never knew that, either, but he was making a point that football doesn't have to be that complex.
4 and 1. That's one fucking yard. What do you do? Ask your HB to maybe, sorta, kinda, look for a hole? Or do you throw a couple fullbacks, or at least one, to drill a hole in that line for the HB to blast through for a yard?
It seems simple to me.
3rd and 1 used to be an almost automatic first down running the ball. . .now they have to throw a fucking two yard pass to a tight end or some stupid wide receiver screen! There is no reason you can't combine both the old school power run game and the new rules-friendly passing game. . .an offense should be able to run whatever the situation calls for. . .the alignments aren't so radically different. . .
ReplyDeleteLook at that Ravens-Jets game. . .that was a game that was basically tied all the way through. . .the Ravens called 44 passes, and they ran the ball only 12 times for 6 yards! In a tie game? In the old days you only saw a 44:12 ration when one team fell hopelessly behind real early. John Harbaugh is one of the better coaches, but to just not even try to run the ball? When that is what will kick a defense's ass? I just don't get it. . .
Yup, Quinn made the right decision on 4th down, but not the smartest call, by a long shot. . .
As for Ryan's faggy QB sneak, the guy has had a pretty solid year, but that kind of fail is trademark Ryan. . .I never felt the guy was gritty enough. . .Matty *Ice* melts down a little too much for me in the big moments. . .he's kinda a Calvin Johnson of QBs. . .
That Atlanta-Packers game this weekend is gonna be real interesting. . .I think the Packers are a very average team that could fall apart. . .if Quinn can get the Falcons to play pissed-off football, which is what you should do after after tanking like they did against SD, they should put a beat-down on GB. . .really they should. . .if Atlanta loses to a mediocre GB, and fall to 4-4 after that 4-1 start, then you gotta look at Quinn, and say, hey, that's two years in a row your team can't sustain--what's with that?
Hah, and the Texans dropped another one. Good thing Kubiak was on the other side of that ass whipping or he'd be back in the ER suffering another episode.
ReplyDeleteGuarantee Wade Phillips will be HC of the Broncos before long which will ruin the Denver defense because Wade won't want to step back down to DC after being HC. That's always been his downfall. Get made HC and not accept going back down to DC within an organization.
Looks like BOB certainly overpaid this Osweiler guy. I like BOB. Seems like a good guy but he has not fucking sense on quarterbacks. None.
Quinn in the presser asked himself a question about whether he had a do over on the punt vs going for it and he gave some sort of spiel about being an aggressive outfit and that he believes it was a right decision. After doing a huge build up to it, explanation, whatever.
Quinn seems entirely too happy with this crap.
Ha ha, man, he even spoke of how there was a "missed assignment" on that singleback bullshit. A linebacker made his way through.
Well, DUH!!!
That's kind of what happens a LOT on singleback bullshit!!! A linebacker drops into coverage, another LB rushes, a CB may even rush, and you've got all these blockers assigned to holes, guys, whatever.
I formation. Fullback is assigned to one thing - make a hole to the right or left of a guard or right or left of a center. Guards push or pull one way or another. Halfback blindly follows the FB.
I'll run that play twice in a row - 3 and 1 and 4 and 1.
Man, you're spot on with this screen bullshit. They can come up with a new term and call it a bubble screen or whatever - it's overused bullshit.