NFL Week 10 Picks
3-2-1 vs the spread last week, 31-27-2 for the year. . .
Detroit +11.5 at Green Bay: Green Bay lost the last two. . .on the road. . .to playoff caliber teams. . .not alarming. . .the Packers are still a good team. . .but they ain't a great team, either. Eddie Lacy is fat and falls down EZ, they don't have a deep threat in the passing game, and even Aaron Rodgers was underwhelming for 7 of the last 8 quarters, and then made an uncharacteristic end game screw up. The Packers even had a couple sideline scuffles. . .clearly, they ain't used to losing. The Lions, on the other hand, have 60 years of experience at losing, and their sideline is the living embodiment of the downtrodden's twelve step prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. . .Green Bay.
Dallas +1.5 at Tampa Bay: Ha ha ha. . .who would have bet before the season began that Tampa would have a better record than the Cowboys, and would actually be the favorite in this game? And, look, it's not that Tampa still ain't crappy, they're 3-5. . .but the Cowboys can't win without Tony Homo. In the NFL, it's the quarterback, stupid. But if there is a game the Cowboys can win with Matt Cassel, it's this one. The Bucs had so many dropped passes, fumbles and penalties against the Giants last week, it looked like they threw the game. Lovie Smith's running a fucking country club down there, he's probably got white women giving lap dances to the players at half-time. Can't take 'em seriously. Dallas.
Chicago +7 at St. Louis: There has never been a 300 yard rushing game in the NFL. . .it could happen here, as the Bears awful rush defense has to try to stop Todd Gurley. St. Louis.
Minnesota +3 at Oakland: The Raiders had a chance last week to take a step up, but blew it against the Steelers, giving away the game with 4 turnovers and a horrible defense that couldn't even stop backup Pittsburgh QB Landry Jones. . .a brutal loss. No way they can play that sloppy again and expect to beat the Vikings, the National Football League's most disciplined team.
Mike Zimmer's done a helluva job in his year-and-a-half in Minnesota, and he had a big win last week against the St. Louis Gurleys, but he came off like a fucking pantywaist in his postgame press conference, whining about a *cheap shot* that knocked Teddy Bridgewater cold. It wasn't a cheap shot. It was obvious the Ram defender was trying to glide over the sliding Bridgewater, but just didn't get his elbow up in time. But Zimmer acted all prissy about it, and then made some passive-aggressive comment about Ram defensive cooridinator Gregg Williams *scandalous* New Orleans bounty program. Hey, Zimmer, you look like half-a-fucking-sissy talking tough to a bunch of reporters after doing nothing when you had the chance on the field. But anyways, this should be a helluva game. . .in a tight game like this, I'll take the team less likely to make critical mistakes. Minnesota.
Arizona +3 at Seattle: The Seahawks have played four bad teams, and beaten them. They've played four good teams, and lost to them. The Cardinals are a good team. It's as simple as that. And they're getting 3 points. C'mon. EZ. Arizona.
It's never a good look for an HC to go about saying what he said the way he said it. Dirty play or not, and I think the defensive player messed up, the HC needs to get pissed about it. Needs to risk a fine for the league mandated handshake. Zimmer needed to get in the face of the STL HC if he really wanted to make a statement, not run to the presser and whine about how his team plays by the rules and the STL team is full of a buncha meanies.
ReplyDeleteNo, you go Psycho Schwartz on the guy on the field and THEN hit the presser with, "I said what needed to be said on the field. Period."
But nope, Zimmer went into the presser sounding like a battered woman - another bad look for anything NFL related.
DET vs GB - I'll take the points. GB looks tired. Detroit looks horrible. Still, DET on pts.
Dallas vs TB - What does Romo mean to the Dallas team and what does his absence say about the coaching? Somehow, someway, Belechick was able to make Cassel work in NE. But Garret? Nope. Jerry Jones is the Big D version of Al Davis. Whenever Jerry goes, Dallas will win. He's an anchor around the neck of the Cowboys. Why were they so successful in the 90's? One trade did it. Walker to MN and picks galore to Dallas and the picks worked out. Jerry got lucky with sucker Minnesota.
This game goes to TB. Romo ain't in, Garret can't coach Cassel, and the team is under scrutiny for one of their players being a domestic abuser. What a fucking mess. TB. Big. Dallas is not only listless without Romo, it's heading for the fucking rocks.
Chi vs STL - Gurley is incredible. I tell you, coming out of the draft with the injuries, I would not have picked him. Even with his performance now, that injury still lurks. It's a ticking time bomb but instead of seconds on the clock, Gurley only has so many runs in his legs. That's true of any RB in the NFL, but more so for Gurley. He has fewer seconds remaining on that clock. Still, STL takes this game all the way, pts and all.
MN vs OAK - This is Oakland's game. Zimmer said something about his team being the least penalized because they play by the rules. Welp, what's the obvious reaction now? Stop playing so tightly to the rules. If this game is about mistakes and shitty penalties, MN is going to increase their total because Zimmer is so ass hurt over that hit, and Fisher and his boys being big ole meanies, that he's going to tell him boys to play a bit looser. That passive aggressive (one of the few times I've seen passive aggressive assessed correctly in these days of everyone calling everything passive aggressive) comments indicate Zimmer is going to not have his team playing by the rules as closely. Oakland has this game. They're tougher than MN, from the coach on down. Del Rio better be careful with how he looks at Zimmer or Zimmer will cry about micro agressions and feeling intimidated or something. Fuck, the guy should just start his transition now. Oakland all the way.
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AZ vs HAWKS - Seattle ain't the team they were last year. This goes to how SB losers tend to not recover from the loss. This is what made the Buffalo teams in the 90's so great. They kept coming back for more. Their bad luck, I suppose. Dallas will always be known as the team of the 90's when Buffalo is more deserved through sheer determination alone. But Seattle ain't Buffalo, for better or worse. They aren't recovering from the loss well. They're fractured. They're making commercials. Russel Wilson's shitty insurance commercials last year ("hey, hey champ! Wake up!" - tie me to a railroad track and wear the top hat and mustache if I ever have to see that fucking commercial again) were bad enough, but now that fucking Mick from Washington named "Macklemore" is doing commercials with Wilson now. "Who's that bad man? Bad man having a smoothie. Bad man at the pool."
ReplyDeleteThe fucking guy sounds like he's talking to a fucking dog. "Who's the good boy? That's a good boy!"
If society can be judged not by the actual programming but by the commercials alone, we ought be judged as the dumbest "civilized" schmucks of all history. Between the Russel Wilson commercials and other commercials that crowbar inter-racial couples at every step (the latest is to pair a wimpy white guy with a mocha colored sister with natural to semi-natural hair, to the improbable commercials showing dumb men hurting themselves in such a way that in real life would be crippling veering on fatal, it makes me want to cue up Rev. Jeremiah Wright's "God Damn America!!!"
It reminds me of Socrates saying that tolerance and apathy are the last gasp of a dying society. Or something like that. Or was it Aristotle? Who the fuck knows, it's all Greek to me.
Back to the point, Seattle is emblematic of the status of Western Civilization. Once proud and powerful, but having suffered defeat they comfort themselves now with distractions. Be it Pepsi commercials or Skittles or some fucking commercial with a white rapper who looks like he gets his makeup done in a Bisquick factory, Seattle is clearly on the descent.
Palmer, sensing this weakening and wanting to gin up his bonafides and prove his draft placement was indeed worthy, however untimely and misplaced in terms of team direction at the time of his selection. Palmer's found his place and it needs to be now and he knows it. Same for Fitzgerald.
This is a statement game. Even though Seattle is in decline, Arizona can still say they whooped the most intimidating defense in the league even if that trophy says "2014." When these two paths collide, it causes turbulence. Arizona is the tornado and Seattle is the straw house.
Arizona and by a wide margin.
Ha ha ha, you are right on the money when you compare Zimmer to a battered woman. . .
ReplyDeleteI hold my breath every time Gurley gets the ball, I expect it to be his last carry. . .I used to be that way about Stafford, his first couple year, every time he went down he was out for half-a-season, but he's held up (unfortunately) the last 5 or 6 years, maybe Gurley can duplicate that.
Seattle is definitely a declining power. . .Carroll too much of a player's coach to rein in all the weirdness with Wilson, Lynch, Sherman, etc. But another coach probably wouldn't have won with them in the first place, so Seahawk fans should be grateful for what they got.
Brace yourself for moments of silence all across the NFL today. They've probably already got commercials ready.
ReplyDeleteWe've got all these calls for safe spaces now, made more laughable because those calls come from blacks who are most unsafe when around other blacks, so I'm calling for a safe space away from the sanctimony of the latest window dressing display the NFL puts on to make me combine world politics with the only sporting event I watch. It's not fair! I feel as if under siege! The micro aggression is too much for my panties to take!
I need a safe space away from the bullshit.
Ha ha ha. . .greatest garbage Lions game of all-time. . .fucking useless Megatron tried once again to fumble away a game, but the shitty ass Packers still lost. . .ha ha ha.
ReplyDeleteJeff Fisher got to be on the hot seat. . .losing by 24 at home to the rebuilding Bears?!?! Fox out-coached him, plain and simple. Another disappointing year for the Rams. Time for a new coach. Fisher's been treading water for 15 years.
ReplyDeleteThe Saints are over-the-hill again. . .
ReplyDelete"We dropped one today that we felt we had a very good opportunity to win," coach Mike McCarthy said.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha. . .very good opportunity? You know the Pack thought all they had to do to win was just show-up on time for the opening kick-off. They were already thinking about Minnesota next week.
Oh, man, look at this line for Peyton Manning, half-way thru the 3rd quarter. . .5 for 20, 35 yards, 3 ints. I'd rather have the midget. . .
ReplyDeletePeyton won't go out on his shield. Get a walker.
ReplyDelete