Season Awards:
Coach of the Year: Ben McAWho? Won 11 games with a tomato can roster. Runners-Up: Jack Del Rio, had it in the bag until he cried when Derek Carr broke his leg, and his despondency poisoned his team in their last two games. Andy Reid. Dan Quinn.
Flop Coach of the Year: John Fox. Somehow only won three games with a Bears team that had a decent defense and a 1300 yard rookie running back.
MVP: Aaron Rodgers. Looked like the confused, depressed faggot he is the first half of the season, then somehow regained his old form and took a shitty Lavender Bay team to the NFC finals (or maybe even SB). Must have found a new bottom. Runner-Up: Ezekiel Elliott.
Veteran Flop of the Year: Cam Newton. Bi-Polar nigger QB had a horrible year, is he already suffering CTE?
Rookie of the Year: Ezekiel Elliott. The real deal. Will bring the running game back into favor in the NFL. Runners-Up: Dak Prescott. Jordan Howard. Joey Bosa. Jalen Ramsey.
Rookie Flop of the Year: Jared gOOf. Hahaha! Maybe the worst #1 draft blunder in history! Did the impossible: got Jeff Fisher fired. Season low-light: got pinky-promise sacked by #44 of Atlanta. Frail, nervous wreck of a QB, never looked confident on the field. Not salvageable. Mississippi Runners-Up: Robert Nkemdiche. Laquon Treadwell.
NFC/AFC Title Game Picks:
Lavender Bay +5 at Atlanta: The only way the Falcons lose this game is if Matt Ryan is BADLY outplayed by Aaron Rodgers. QB is the only spot the Fudge Packers have an advantage. As long as Ryan is within 80 yards of Rodgers and tosses 1 INT less, Atlanta wins EZ. Lavender Bay's receivers are gimpy, and they got no real running back, using a converted wide receiver and a fat white fullback, and their defense sucks. It's shocking, really, that they beat Dallas, but that's how good Rodgers was (though he wobbled a little in the 3rd and 4th quarters, and got bailed out on a horrible pick by a Dallas penalty, but with the game on the line he made a Hall of Fame final throw to set up the winning FG), and how bad the Cowboys were out-coached by slob-looking Mike McCarthy. I've never been a Matt Ryan fan, most of his career he's been a horrible red zone QB and he's thrown a ton of clutch-moment INTs. . .will he hold up under the pressure of being matched-up with Rodgers? Hopefully Dan Quinn saw how the Cowboys averaged 6 yards a carry against the shitty Fudge Packer defense, and he'll run the ball more than the 24 times dumb-ass Dallas did. The Falcons can run all day, and keep the pressure off Ryan, and keep the ball out of Rodgers hand. That's the winning plan. Atlanta.
Pittsburgh +6 at New England: In truth, neither team played that well last week. . .Pittsburgh didn't even score a TD, and only won because of a weak holding call on KC's tying two point conversion. The Patriots offensive line was beat often by the Texans, and Tom Brady looked flustered for most of the game, reverting to crybaby form after being pulled down by Jadeveon Clowney. Hell, if the Texans had even an average QB, they would have won the game. I wouldn't be shocked if the Steelers won, they have better players than NE, and I don't think the Patriot defense can shut down Le'Veon Bell. . .but I just don't trust nigger coach Mike Tomlin not to fuck it up. Steelers should cover the 6, but lose by a FG due to a late game coaching blunder by nigger Tomlin. Pittsburgh.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Wild Card Playoff Picks
1-2 vs the spread last week, 53-46-2 for the year. . .
Oakland +3.5 at Houston: Ha ha ha ha! Matt McGroin or Connor Cook vs Broke Assweipler or Tom Savage. . .has there ever been a worse QB combination for a Professional Football playoff game? And there's no room for Tim Tebow in the NFL? But anyways, Houston's defense is much better than Oakland's, and they have home field advantage. . .but Oakland's getting points in a game in which both teams will struggle to score. . .but Jack Del Rio still hasn't recovered emotionally from Derek Carr's injury, the Raiders looked traumatized against a shitty Denver team run by a shell-shocked coach. . .so. . .Houston.
Detroit +8 at Seattle: Huh? What are the Lions doing in the playoffs? Oh, Jay Gruden and Kirk CousINTs couldn't win a home game against a Giants team with nothing to play for, so Dee-troit backs into the Wild Card with a three game losing streak. The Lions are by far the worst of the 12 playoff teams, with a defense that has played its two worst games the last two weeks, and an offense that plays good for one half, and then has no answers in the second half, and for some reason forgets about their white running back. Seattle's run game has disappeared, and their defense isn't what it used to be. . .they look ripe for an upset, but the Lions ain't the team to do it. . .the Lions have the stink of the born loser, as perfectly evidenced when they stopped Lavender Bay on a third down with 5 minutes left in the game, and would have forced a punt and got the ball back only 6 points down, but linebacker DeAndre Levy didn't hustle off the field in time, and the Lions got hit with a 12 men on the field penalty, so, first down Fudge Packers, drive extended, Rodgers takes full advantage, TD, game over, typical Lions born loser move. . .so, no, they ain't gonna beat a very beatable Seattle team, and Matthew Stafford ain't never gonna carry a team on his shoulders the way faggot Aaron Rodgers carries the Lavender Bay Fudge Packers. . .Lions won't even keep this one close. . .and even if they do, you know the zebras will give the Seahawks whatever home cookin' they need to ensure the National Football League gets its shiny Seattle - Atlanta divisional round game. Seattle.
Miami +10 at Pittsburgh: 10 points? I'll take 10 points against dumb nigger coach Mike Tomlin anytime (and Terry Bradshaw was right). And besides, Ryan Tannehill ain't that much better than Matt Moore. The Dolphins ain't missing much at the QB spot. Give me Miami, and Donkeykong Suh's gonna knock Big Ben outta this game, anyway. Miami.
New York Giants +4.5 at Lavender Bay: The Giants are one of the worst 11 win teams ever. Their defense is pretty solid, but defense don't seem to matter much, anymore. 5 of the top 7 teams in total defense MISSED the playoffs. Atlanta gives up 370 yards a game, and is probably the 2nd or 3rd choice behind the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. The Fudge Packers defense is lousy, but I see no way the Giants hang with them. . .plus the NFL will make sure the zebras guarantee a dream Lavender Bay - Dallas divisional round game. Lavender Bay.
Oakland +3.5 at Houston: Ha ha ha ha! Matt McGroin or Connor Cook vs Broke Assweipler or Tom Savage. . .has there ever been a worse QB combination for a Professional Football playoff game? And there's no room for Tim Tebow in the NFL? But anyways, Houston's defense is much better than Oakland's, and they have home field advantage. . .but Oakland's getting points in a game in which both teams will struggle to score. . .but Jack Del Rio still hasn't recovered emotionally from Derek Carr's injury, the Raiders looked traumatized against a shitty Denver team run by a shell-shocked coach. . .so. . .Houston.
Detroit +8 at Seattle: Huh? What are the Lions doing in the playoffs? Oh, Jay Gruden and Kirk CousINTs couldn't win a home game against a Giants team with nothing to play for, so Dee-troit backs into the Wild Card with a three game losing streak. The Lions are by far the worst of the 12 playoff teams, with a defense that has played its two worst games the last two weeks, and an offense that plays good for one half, and then has no answers in the second half, and for some reason forgets about their white running back. Seattle's run game has disappeared, and their defense isn't what it used to be. . .they look ripe for an upset, but the Lions ain't the team to do it. . .the Lions have the stink of the born loser, as perfectly evidenced when they stopped Lavender Bay on a third down with 5 minutes left in the game, and would have forced a punt and got the ball back only 6 points down, but linebacker DeAndre Levy didn't hustle off the field in time, and the Lions got hit with a 12 men on the field penalty, so, first down Fudge Packers, drive extended, Rodgers takes full advantage, TD, game over, typical Lions born loser move. . .so, no, they ain't gonna beat a very beatable Seattle team, and Matthew Stafford ain't never gonna carry a team on his shoulders the way faggot Aaron Rodgers carries the Lavender Bay Fudge Packers. . .Lions won't even keep this one close. . .and even if they do, you know the zebras will give the Seahawks whatever home cookin' they need to ensure the National Football League gets its shiny Seattle - Atlanta divisional round game. Seattle.
Miami +10 at Pittsburgh: 10 points? I'll take 10 points against dumb nigger coach Mike Tomlin anytime (and Terry Bradshaw was right). And besides, Ryan Tannehill ain't that much better than Matt Moore. The Dolphins ain't missing much at the QB spot. Give me Miami, and Donkeykong Suh's gonna knock Big Ben outta this game, anyway. Miami.
New York Giants +4.5 at Lavender Bay: The Giants are one of the worst 11 win teams ever. Their defense is pretty solid, but defense don't seem to matter much, anymore. 5 of the top 7 teams in total defense MISSED the playoffs. Atlanta gives up 370 yards a game, and is probably the 2nd or 3rd choice behind the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. The Fudge Packers defense is lousy, but I see no way the Giants hang with them. . .plus the NFL will make sure the zebras guarantee a dream Lavender Bay - Dallas divisional round game. Lavender Bay.
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