Monday, January 5, 2015

The Job Of The National Football League

So sick of hearing about that fucking dumb-ass picked-up penalty flag in the Lions-Cowboys game.  Of course the Lions got fucked over.  It's their history.  That call is made 100% of the time.  Obvious, no-brainer pass interference.  Absolute joke to announce that fucking penalty, then just move the fucking ball back and pretend it never happened. Absurd.  Makes the National Football League look like professional wrestling, gotta make sure the good guys, *America's Team,* wins.

But that ain't why the Lions lost. The Lions are the Job of the NFL.  Every shitty ass team gets at least one lucky year.  Even the fucking Saints won a Super Bowl.  But the Lions have been singled out by the cosmic football forces.  That dumb motherfucking penalty/no penalty was their test. . .and Jim Caldwell, who I always thought was the worst fucking coach in the League when he was at Indy, failed.  After the cosmic football forces hypnotized the referees and they put the ball back on the Dallas 46, Caldwell was left with a 4th-and-1.  4th-and-1 in a game that was slipping away.  Here was the chance to retake control of the game by picking up a first down, continuing the drive, eating up time, and then putting points on the board to make it a two score game.  But Caldwell played Ultimate Pussy Football. . .the old ridiculous *let's pretend to go for it and try to draw them offsides on 4th down, then punt when it most assuredly fails.*  The cosmic football forces immediately rewarded Caldwell for his cowardice by sprinkling shanking dust on his punter. . .there it goes, an eight fucking yard punt.  

And the rest is history. . .Sorry Ass Lions Football History. . .the kind of Sorry Ass History that makes a Donkey Kong cry.

Fuck you, Caldwell.

Jim Caldwell is the worst fucking coach in the League. . .

73 comments:

  1. Now we get to have the typical teams and matchups that get the ratings. We get to see Brady/Manning/Luck/Rodgers. Again.

    Picks, if you don't post in another entry:

    Balt/NE: NE.

    Ind/Den: DEN

    Dal/GB: GB

    CAR/Seattle: Upset special. Carolina. Carolina is an 11 pt underdog. Take those points, for sure. I think CAR takes the points and wins the game.

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  2. The call and then pick-up of the flag was astounding. The announcers talked about how the crew hadn't worked together before or something, so there was a "trust" issue.

    What is that crap? "Trust"? It's professional football. Presumably these refs are the best that can be found in the football world and playoff refs are supposed to be the best of the best in the NFL.

    Trust. Uh-huh

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  3. Also, ultimately I think it will be Green Bay vs New England in the Super Bowl. Green Bay wins.

    This is all contingent on Rodgers staying healthy.

    The spread will be around 3 for GB. Take it. GB wins by at least 13.

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  4. Ha ha. . .Green Bay - New England was my preseason SB pick!

    All right, let's see:

    Baltimore + 7 at New England: I made a huge mistake last week in my pick Balt - Pitt pick by forgetting the Flacco factor. One of the All-Time Great Playoff QBs, far better than Manning, best road game Playoff QB ever. Suggs and Dumbanddumberville looked pretty fresh last week, they should make Brady wet himself a bit, enough to keep the Ravens in the game, and able to cover. BALTIMORE.

    Carolina +11 at Seattle: Bubble bursts BIG TIME for Panthers. They are who we thought they were. A loser. SEATTLE.

    Dallas +6 at Green Bay: Tough game to call because of Rodger's gimpy calf. If he lasts 60 mins, GREEN BAY.

    Indianapolis + 7 at Denver: I hate these two teams, these two QBs, soft, soft, soft. Indy's getting the points, and Peyton's arm looks tired. INDIANAPOLIS.

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  5. Ohio State +6 vs Oregon: OHIO STATE. They played Michigan State better on the road than Oregon did at home. Plus Oregon picked up 5 turnovers from Fla St last week. . .they used up all their luck. Urban Meyer gets the Big 10 an unlikely National Championship.

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  6. Manning's arm is looking bad. Like right after surgery bad.

    We should put you in a football coma for next season right after you pick the SB contenders and wake you up February 1.

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  7. I'd like to be in a coma after that Lions game. . .

    If Suh and Teryl Austin leave, the Lions will need to bump up their offense big time. With the #23 pick in the 2015 draft, the Lions select Todd Gurley.

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  8. Ha ha ha:

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs/2014/story/_/id/12130526/president-barack-obama-says-pretty-aggravated-were-detroit-lions-fan

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  9. The comments section is hysterical.

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  10. Mark Richt hires Brian Schottenheimer as OC?!?! Huh?

    I bet that move don't go over big down there. . .

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  11. I glanced at a headline about the hire and it seemed positive.

    People weren't all that happy with Mike Bobo.

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  12. Points haven't moved much since you posted them. I have seen some going -12 in the Seattle/Carolina game.


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  13. This Ravens - Patriots game might turn out to be a good one. A duel of all-time greats, Flacco and Brady.

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  14. Terrible missed tackle on the Amendola TD. ..

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  15. Patriots definitely gettin' the home cookin' from the refs. . .

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  16. Terrible int by Brady, followed by great TD toss by Flacco.

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  17. John Harbaugh playing to win. going for it on that 4th-and-6th, unlike pussy Caldwell last week. . .and Harbaugh rewarded with a great throw from Flacco to Smith. Patriots in big trouble now.

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  18. Brady right back down the field. . .NE tightens it up.

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  19. A gimmick play that actually works. NE ties it up.

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  20. First bad throw by Flacco in a money game in a long, long time.

    But the Ravens defense bails him out with a 3-and-out right on the edge of FG range.

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  21. Harbaugh showing you how you coach football. . .play to win. . .another 4th down conversion.

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  22. Great throw by Brady for the go ahead TD.

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  23. Flacco cool as can be on that 4th down pass. . .waited, waited, no happy feet, no panic, hits the TE for the first down.

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  24. Oh, no, no, no. . .awful throw by Flacco. What a way to lose the game. Ridiculous int. Lousy end to a good game.

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  25. I still got my doubts about that nickel-and-dime offense, but this was the danger game for the Pats. I don't see a soft Colts or Broncos team winning in Foxborough. . .

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  26. The Pats showed some holes. They should be worried.

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  27. Did you finally see a great game this year? Al and Chris remarked how many SNF games were blowouts. No shit.

    Finally a good one.

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  28. Panthers are looking better than they should wirhout Newton playing great. Wonder what his problem was earlier this year?

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  29. I missed most of the Seahawks game. . .busy night at the jail. The Pats game was pretty good, I'd say the Lions-Cowboys game was the best game I've seen this year.

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  30. Rodgers not looking right.

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  31. Just got to the jail. . .hear the Cowboys are getting all the calls again, is that true?

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  32. Falcons missed out on Rex Ryan. . .now who they gonna get?

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  33. Ryan going to another team without a QB. Like a woman who keeps picking guys who abuse her. Ryan and Ryan in Atlanta woulda been a SB contender.

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  34. That was an MVP throw from Rodgers on the go ahead TD

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  35. Bryant with a big time catch there. . .

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  36. Ha ha ha. . .can not believe they ruled that an incomplete. Karma.

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  37. Perfect ending for Dallas. . .fuck the Cowboys. . .and fuck the Packers. . .they'll lose next week. Seattle - NE in the Bowl. Seattle repeat.

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  38. Has a coach ever won back-to-back SBs and back-to-back National Championships in college? Carroll might be the first. . .

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  39. Rodgers looked better later.

    Seems the Pack only won because of a bad rule but good ruling.

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  40. Seattle did look great. Wilson made some nice passes.

    No idea who the Falcons go for. They'll probably wait till after the SB to grab a coordinator. Some have talked McDaniels. That's crazy shit.

    Why aren't there any rumors bout Gruden or Cowher?

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  41. No one wants to talk about Manning's arm looking weak.

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  42. I just read something on ESPN, said Falcons fist choice is now Todd Bowles. . .that's a double risk hire. #1, taking basically a coordinator, he only had a couple games as HC in Miami. #2, he's a negro.

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  43. Manning having a great game, huh?

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  44. "I can't breathe." Peyton Manning every post season game.

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  45. "Omah-" *cough* *cough*

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  46. The Broncos would be better off just running the ball. . .

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  47. 8 down now. Is it close enough?

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  48. Colt receivers really stepping up.

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  49. Bronco defenders up front seeing the writing on the wall....

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  50. This is the kind of clock management that wins games.

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  51. You can tear down the Manning statues now. . .

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  52. Tell you what I'd do in Peyton's shoes next year. Take the league minimum with the agreement from Denver that the money will go to talent and announce next season is the last season.

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  53. Man, that's the worst thing. . .if he announces next year is his last, then we got one of those endless *Farewell Tour* seasons, like the one Derek Jeter had. "The end of era blah blah blah" week-after-week-after-week. . .

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  54. Bring in the backup and throw downfield. Peyton doesn't have the arm.

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  55. Maaaaaan, wtf? Short shit.

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  56. Right now Manning's arm strength is the same as the midget's. . .

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  57. Did the Broncos even want to win?

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  58. Probably the worst performance by a team in the Playoffs. . .even the Cardinals and Bengals showed more fight.

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  59. They hype for NE - Seattle Super Bowl will be through the fucking roof. . .Brady trying once again for #4, Seattle trying to repeat, Belichick vs Carroll, will be the biggest SB of all-time.

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  60. That last minute was ugly.

    Black guy on CBS panel questioned Manning's arm. Finally.

    His arm is less than DelHomme now.

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  61. Man, what if Manning becomes a TV *sports-caster?*

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  62. Did you ever see Joe Montana as a *sports-caster?* Man, he was boring. Cliche after cliche. . .

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  63. I can only imagine if Manning became a sportscaster. That marble mouth sob would be horrible.

    Don't remember Montana as a talker. Probably struck it from my memory. Sounds traumatic.

    Tell you who surprises me is Aikman. He's not great but actually does a good job.

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  64. That's the Aikman rumor. My understanding of it comes from someone who went to OU when he was there. He'd allegedly get a bit touchy with men while drunk.

    My take is an ex gf started the rumor.

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  65. Ha ha ha. . .he sounds gay as shit. Remember when he cried talking about the *triplets?*

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  66. look at this, it does look like aikman wants to kiss buck:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4-vRSVbLBI

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  67. Haha, who knows? Maybe? I try not to think about it really. Imagining that row of teeth slobbering all over a dude.....shit, that row of urinals set of gompers on a woman makes me a little grossed out....

    So, one black coach I'd support getting the Falcons HC job is the current ST coordinator, Armstrong. He's the right age, has been coaching a long time, played, and can motivate a team.

    He'd be a good choice.

    So many of the other candidates seem so bad. Thing is Blank wants to control a lot. Become Jewish Jerry Jones. What legit HC candidate would agree to it?

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  68. Now the Falcons can hire your favorite coach:

    John Fox

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  69. I've never really thought much about Fox. He seemed okay at Carolina.

    He lives in Charlotte, so it would seem natural to get him in Atlanta. He's the biggest name out there now.

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