Green Bay -3 at Detroit: The Packers are in a slump, mainly due to their suddenly mediocre offense, as defenses finally realize that without having to worry about Jordy Nelson they can pack it in on Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers seems frustrated by his new status as a nickel-and-dime QB, and his teammates seem equally frustrated, with sideline squabbles and mysterious players-only meetings. The Lions have won three in a row, with Matthew Stafford and Calvin *Megaphony* Johnson cementing their status as the National Football League's All-Time Greatest Garbage Game Producers. But the real reason the Lions have *turned it around* is because defensive coordinator Teryl Austin has managed to rebuild Detroit's defense. . .it took half-a-year to figure out what to do without Donkeykong Suh, Nick Fairley and DeAndre Levy, but
Arizona -5.5 at St. Louis: Jeff Fisher is getting testier by the week, as the Rams have flopped Big Time with a 4 game losing streak. QB play is once again dooming the Rams, even Todd Gurley hasn't been able to do much the last couple weeks. Fisher needs to acknowledge the truth: he failed in St. Louis, and he has five games left to coach in his National Football League career. He might as well relax and enjoy them, and open up his *Music City Miracle* bag of tricks, try every goofy strategy and play imaginable, have some fun before the Rams show him the door. Arizona lost Chris Johnson. . .but does it really matter? They still got Palmer and a ton of good receivers. Arizona.
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| For Matt Ryan, it's always breast cancer awareness week. |
Atlanta +2 at Tampa Bay: Wild Card Cage Match. . .Falcons on a real skid, if they lose this one, their once seemingly insurmountable lead for a WC spot will have been surmounted by the negro-coached Tampa Bay Buccaneers. . .white head coach Dan Quinn needs to quit babying Matt Ryan. . .hey, Quinn, take Ryan and stand him up in front of everyone in the locker room and tell him to quit throwing like a fucking girl in the red zone. Challenge him to play like a man. The level-headed approach to losing needs to end. But it won't. Tampa Bay.
Seattle EVEN at Minnesota: The last time the Vikings played a game as an NFL heavyweight, they looked like they didn't believe in themselves, and they gave a sorry-ass performance, getting whipped by a Green Bay team that has been shoved around by Detroit and Chicago. The Vikes get another chance to prove they are the real deal, this time facing a Seattle team that finally beat a squad with a winning record last week. Are the Seahawks about to start another late season run? No. The defense ain't what it used to be. And Russell Wilson burned up his allotment of 5 TD pass games against the Steelers. The real Vikings show up this time around. Minnesota.
Houston +3 at Buffalo: After apologizing to his team for back-stabbing Brian Hoyer, Bill O'Brien has the Texans on a 4 game win streak, with a good shot at winning the crappy AFC South. Having stability at the QB spot benefits the whole team, as the Houston defense is finally living up to its potential, allowing only 35 points in those 4 wins. Rex Ryan's been a bit of a flop in Buffalo, especially his defense, which ranks in the bottom half of the League. Maybe Rex really isn't a very good coach? Maybe he just got lucky his first two years with the Jets? Whatever the reason, he won more games when he was fat. Houston.
Kansas City -2.5 at Oakland: The Chiefs have come back from the dead, and are the AFC's hottest team, despite playing a new running back every week. This is Oakland's last chance to stay in the playoff race, as they barely remained alive last week, after almost choking one away to the horrible Titans. . .(and they needed to get a little help from the zebras). The Chiefs defense is too good for the young Raiders. Kansas City.
